I just read an article about "Why are we grossed out by female armpit hair?" Well, I'm not grossed out by it, I'm turned on - assuming of course that the female armpit in question belongs to a woman I find attractive. There's something so raw and powerful about an attractive woman who cares so little about what society expects of her. I feel the same way about female pubic hair.
In the "I contradict myself" vein, I do find hairy female legs a major turn-off, and I don't like guys with too much hair anywhere. Go figure.
My wife usually shaves her pits and trims her pubes, but in the winter, she often lets herself get pretty furry, knowing that I love it. When she's dominating me, I love for her to "make me" smell her hairy armpits, and a couple of times a week, I get the huge pleasure of burying my face in her hairy pussy for a long time.
I guess part of why it turns me on, and why it turns so many people off (especially Millennials), has to do with porn, and timing. When I hit puberty, most women in porn still had pubic hair. I remember the first time I saw a woman in porn (probably Seka) with a shaved pussy, I thought she might be a child and I was majorly turned off. And I was maybe 13 at the time! Around that same time, I ran across some vintage porn pics from circa 1920. The women (French?) had hairy pits and pubes and serious attitude. The pics got me off and just the thought of them is still arousing.
I still don't like the look of a shaved pussy, but I've gotten used to it enough that it's no longer a major turn off. Which is a good thing, because otherwise I wouldn't have enjoyed much of the porn that's come out in the last 25 years! I can totally understand why someone in their 20s or 30s today who has learned about women and their sexuality primarily from porn would find hairlessness attractive, and hairiness revolting. I think it's a shame, and yet another reason porn isn't good sex education! But I do understand that if you see hundreds of women, all "cleanly" shaven everywhere before you see a "natural" woman, you're going to find a natural (unshaven) female body a gross, confusing thing.
The men in porn when I was a teenager were mostly pretty hairy, often very hairy. I didn't find them attractive, except for the ones with nice cocks. The only guy I had seen naked at that point had hairy pubes and pits, and a little hair in his ass crack, but was pretty much smooth everywhere else (I was 16, almost 17, and he was almost 16). And yes, he had a nice cock! He turned me on so much that I must have fixated on him as the ideal man. That's my best guess, anyway. Fortunately, the mostly hair-free male look is common now, in pro porn, amateur porn and even in mainstream movies/TV - and real life. Even on the beach this weekend, I saw more 20- and 30-something guys without major chest hair or back hair than with it.
But some male body hair is sexier than none. I don't like to see guys with zero chest hair, or no leg/arm hair. I've even reached a point where facial hair is OK. Back hair, though? That can go!
As for women, there's been a small but noticeable pushback against hairlessness lately. Even in porn, some women are letting their bushes grow (even if they're still bare on the pussy lips and ass crack), and in the mainstream world, more women are growing (and occasionally flaunting) their armpit hair. I hope someday soon, female pubic hair will be considered normal again. I don't care if female armpit hair continues to gross most people out, though. Somehow, that just makes it more of a turn on for me!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Miscellaneous Sexy Thoughts
Thank heaven (if that's where it comes from) for amateur porn. It's awesome to watch real people have real sex. Somehow, it's hotter than watching the pros.
Of course, I also have peeves about it.
Not sure if it truly qualifies as a peeve (maybe more an observation)... amateur porn is a lot more like pro porn than it used to be. I discovered amateur porn not long after I discovered porn video stores. Back in the VHS days, amateur porn was really... amateur, or so it seemed. Some of the people were not attractive at all, and a lot of the people were pretty boring to watch, because they would just, say, fuck in missionary for 20 minutes, then the guy would cum inside the woman and it would just be over. And you could never get those 20 minutes of your life back. And sometimes the video would be really attractive people having kind of boring sex, or maybe hot sex, but not very attractive people. Seeing people completely free of body hair was rare. Video quality was almost always pretty bad, sometimes painfully bad.
The video quality is still sometimes bad. But now the people are almost always attractive. Manscaping is ubiquitous, and women with pubic hair are hard to find. The sex is more like pro porn, too. I have been limiting my downloads to videos with attractive people, usually with deepthroating and what I call "mouth facials", where the guy cums in the woman's mouth (with bonus points for swallowing). As I mentioned in yesterday's entry, most of the videos I have chosen have guys with big dicks.
This is not to say that all those things are common now, just that, even if you limit yourself to videos with all those things, there's still a lot to choose from! Almost every day, I download more than I can watch in one day. So I'm stockpiling (hoarding?) porn, perhaps for that day in the future when society collapses and there's no more downloading! (I hope we're off the grid by then, and that whatever video players we have then still play mp4s and wmvs and so on).
Anyway, what was I on about? Peeves with amateur porn, right? Shit, never mind. I do get annoyed with webcam porn, especially when the people spend a lot of time looking at their monitors, watching themselves have sex and also responding to questions/requests. And artificial hairlessness just isn't my thing, on men or women. But after this off-the-top-of-my-head critique, I've realized that I basically LOVE amateur porn and am really grateful for it!
In real life, I've had 3 orgasms since the last time I posted, 2 of them "self-inflicted". This morning my wife gave me a good (if sleepy blowjob). She didn't sit on my face, I put a finger up her ass and she moved herself on it. Maybe she would have sat on my face if I'd taken longer. I kept thinking "little dicks cum quick" and imagining she was just milking me to keep me satisfied so she'd be free to hook up with her lover. But then I looked down at her sucking me, and my dick looked huge in her mouth. She tried to go deep a few times and couldn't overcome her gag reflex. I remembered the last time I fucked her in the ass, and thought about what I wanted to do the next time I fuck her in the ass, maybe tomorrow night! And that's what I thought about when I came, fucking her ass with my big dick! I came in her mouth, and briefly thought about having her kiss it into my mouth, but instead I kept moving my finger in her ass, which she liked enough to wait a good 30 seconds before running off to spit and brush.
Yesterday morning and this afternoon I fucked my fleshlight flight. Yesterday, I sniffed her panties and imagined her cuckolding me with a big-dicked guy, right in front of me. I had several of my larger dildos out, including Vixskin Johnny, the one she usually fucks me with, and the Dream Dick, the one she usually chooses for me to suck. Instead, I sucked on the Vixskin Bandit, which is a little longer and just a hair less girthy than I am. I deepthroated it repeatedly, and enjoyed having to overcome my gag reflex to do so. I imagined the dildo penetrating my wife's pussy and the thought made me cum. I sniffed her panties as I came and tried to bring my mind back to something more dominant. Didn't work.
Today, I got out the Good Vibrations Maven, which is the same thickness as me, but much longer, and nicely curved up. I started out imagining it was my wife's lover's cock (a few months back, when I laid out all my dildos and asked her to pick the "perfect" cock, she picked the Maven). After a minute or so, I thought of my wife wearing the Maven in her strap-on harness, making me suck it, and then fucking me hard with it. That got me off in a hurry. It felt so good when I came in the fleshlight that I couldn't help remembering the morning blowjob and I felt really warm and satisfied thinking that my wife likes giving me such pleasure. It was like cumming in her mouth again, except I could stay in and keep cumming as long as I wanted.
Based on porn (including amateur) and my limited same-sex experience, I seem to cum for a longer time than most other guys. My orgasms last at least 30 seconds, often 2 minutes or more. The spurting is over all too quickly, 2 or 3 squirts lasting maybe 10 seconds total, but then the radiating wave of intense pleasure spreads from my cock to all over my body, head to toe, and just keeps going and going. I didn't used to be this way, but I started focusing on the sensation more and more, and now it's just amazing how long it lasts, and how good it feels. Anyway...
Aside - I forgot to mention the new recurring thought that helps get me off: I've started getting off on the idea that my wife's orgasms are more important than mine are. Her orgasms (and her lover's) matter, mine don't. I first had the thought last weekend while I was licking my wife to series of orgasms. I haven't shared the thought with her - in fact, I'm a little afraid to share it!
I downloaded a cuckold video today - but deleted it after scanning through it. I don't find Shane Diesel attractive. His dick is too big to be a turn-on. It's not that fun to watch, because women can't take that much of his dick in their mouths, and often not in their pussies, either. Also, he doesn't let/make guys suck him, even though he appears in lots of these videos. And when he cums, it's that disappointing, oozing sort of orgasm that's just not sexy to me. The girl wasn't that great either, and the small-dicked white guy was just limp and lame.
I was actually glad not to like the video. Part of me would like to be more dominant and to back away from this area of sexuality, maybe to back away from "porn escalation" generally, if that's what's going on. This is something I've been thinking about since I read an article about sex addiction yesterday. I had done a search for small dick humiliation, something like 'boyfriend OR husband small dick make fun of'. One of the results was a page about sex addiction and apparently, excessive thinking about penis size and constantly looking for "novel" porn are both symptoms.
Fortunately, the same two things still get me off now as when I hit puberty: great females asses and fellatio. After I first had anal sex, that became a porn fave, too. I mainly discovered femdom through porn, apart from the occasional glimpses I'd had from popular culture and magazines like Penthouse. Bestiality porn had the opposite effect. I had been vaguely turned-on by the idea of a woman sucking off a horse, or getting fucked by one (thanks, whoever made up that thing about Catherine the Great!), but seeing it for real brought home the reality that this was a dumb, non-consenting animal... having sex with a horse. Just kidding! Next came my fart fetish "renaissance", circa the Napster/Kazaa days, when it seemed anything and everything was suddenly out there for the taking. That also led me to really get into watching women swallow cum. The big dick/small dick fetish came later, around the time I discovered "Dick Size Contest", the website where honesty equals masochism! Being honest about my dick size there, and not realizing for quite some time that pretty much everyone else was exaggerating, led me to feel really small, which led me to realize that feeling small/inferior turned me on, and that it also made me feel pretty bad about myself.
But female asses are still my #1 turn-on, both in real life and in porn. Even pictures I've seen hundreds of time of nice asses still get me off. Next best is porn that makes me think about getting my dick sucked, and/or sucking a nice dick. Because my two biggest turn-ons are both constants since puberty, I think maybe I'm not a sex addict. But I want to stop going down that road, if that's where I'm headed, especially since it's also leading me to encourage my wife to think about other guys and to think I'm inferior to other guys! Call me crazy, but that seems like a dangerous game.
Now the only game I want to play is the sleeping game. Oh, I had an interesting dream last night... I was having anal sex with my first girlfriend, who sometimes looked and sounded just like my next door neighbor's wife! Except, in the dream she had a nice body, like my first girlfriend did back then, and she was able to do a serious gape, like a porn starlet. She was bent over on a hard wood bedroom floor, right next to the bed, face down on the floor, looking back at me and asking me to fuck her ass, spreading her cheeks with both hands and gaping her asshole. There was a kid in the next room, and the bedroom door was open, but I finally fucked her ass really hard. Come to think of it, maybe that's why I thought about fucking my wife's ass while she sucked my cock this morning. The mind is a strange place!
Of course, I also have peeves about it.
Not sure if it truly qualifies as a peeve (maybe more an observation)... amateur porn is a lot more like pro porn than it used to be. I discovered amateur porn not long after I discovered porn video stores. Back in the VHS days, amateur porn was really... amateur, or so it seemed. Some of the people were not attractive at all, and a lot of the people were pretty boring to watch, because they would just, say, fuck in missionary for 20 minutes, then the guy would cum inside the woman and it would just be over. And you could never get those 20 minutes of your life back. And sometimes the video would be really attractive people having kind of boring sex, or maybe hot sex, but not very attractive people. Seeing people completely free of body hair was rare. Video quality was almost always pretty bad, sometimes painfully bad.
The video quality is still sometimes bad. But now the people are almost always attractive. Manscaping is ubiquitous, and women with pubic hair are hard to find. The sex is more like pro porn, too. I have been limiting my downloads to videos with attractive people, usually with deepthroating and what I call "mouth facials", where the guy cums in the woman's mouth (with bonus points for swallowing). As I mentioned in yesterday's entry, most of the videos I have chosen have guys with big dicks.
This is not to say that all those things are common now, just that, even if you limit yourself to videos with all those things, there's still a lot to choose from! Almost every day, I download more than I can watch in one day. So I'm stockpiling (hoarding?) porn, perhaps for that day in the future when society collapses and there's no more downloading! (I hope we're off the grid by then, and that whatever video players we have then still play mp4s and wmvs and so on).
Anyway, what was I on about? Peeves with amateur porn, right? Shit, never mind. I do get annoyed with webcam porn, especially when the people spend a lot of time looking at their monitors, watching themselves have sex and also responding to questions/requests. And artificial hairlessness just isn't my thing, on men or women. But after this off-the-top-of-my-head critique, I've realized that I basically LOVE amateur porn and am really grateful for it!
In real life, I've had 3 orgasms since the last time I posted, 2 of them "self-inflicted". This morning my wife gave me a good (if sleepy blowjob). She didn't sit on my face, I put a finger up her ass and she moved herself on it. Maybe she would have sat on my face if I'd taken longer. I kept thinking "little dicks cum quick" and imagining she was just milking me to keep me satisfied so she'd be free to hook up with her lover. But then I looked down at her sucking me, and my dick looked huge in her mouth. She tried to go deep a few times and couldn't overcome her gag reflex. I remembered the last time I fucked her in the ass, and thought about what I wanted to do the next time I fuck her in the ass, maybe tomorrow night! And that's what I thought about when I came, fucking her ass with my big dick! I came in her mouth, and briefly thought about having her kiss it into my mouth, but instead I kept moving my finger in her ass, which she liked enough to wait a good 30 seconds before running off to spit and brush.
Yesterday morning and this afternoon I fucked my fleshlight flight. Yesterday, I sniffed her panties and imagined her cuckolding me with a big-dicked guy, right in front of me. I had several of my larger dildos out, including Vixskin Johnny, the one she usually fucks me with, and the Dream Dick, the one she usually chooses for me to suck. Instead, I sucked on the Vixskin Bandit, which is a little longer and just a hair less girthy than I am. I deepthroated it repeatedly, and enjoyed having to overcome my gag reflex to do so. I imagined the dildo penetrating my wife's pussy and the thought made me cum. I sniffed her panties as I came and tried to bring my mind back to something more dominant. Didn't work.
Today, I got out the Good Vibrations Maven, which is the same thickness as me, but much longer, and nicely curved up. I started out imagining it was my wife's lover's cock (a few months back, when I laid out all my dildos and asked her to pick the "perfect" cock, she picked the Maven). After a minute or so, I thought of my wife wearing the Maven in her strap-on harness, making me suck it, and then fucking me hard with it. That got me off in a hurry. It felt so good when I came in the fleshlight that I couldn't help remembering the morning blowjob and I felt really warm and satisfied thinking that my wife likes giving me such pleasure. It was like cumming in her mouth again, except I could stay in and keep cumming as long as I wanted.
Based on porn (including amateur) and my limited same-sex experience, I seem to cum for a longer time than most other guys. My orgasms last at least 30 seconds, often 2 minutes or more. The spurting is over all too quickly, 2 or 3 squirts lasting maybe 10 seconds total, but then the radiating wave of intense pleasure spreads from my cock to all over my body, head to toe, and just keeps going and going. I didn't used to be this way, but I started focusing on the sensation more and more, and now it's just amazing how long it lasts, and how good it feels. Anyway...
Aside - I forgot to mention the new recurring thought that helps get me off: I've started getting off on the idea that my wife's orgasms are more important than mine are. Her orgasms (and her lover's) matter, mine don't. I first had the thought last weekend while I was licking my wife to series of orgasms. I haven't shared the thought with her - in fact, I'm a little afraid to share it!
I downloaded a cuckold video today - but deleted it after scanning through it. I don't find Shane Diesel attractive. His dick is too big to be a turn-on. It's not that fun to watch, because women can't take that much of his dick in their mouths, and often not in their pussies, either. Also, he doesn't let/make guys suck him, even though he appears in lots of these videos. And when he cums, it's that disappointing, oozing sort of orgasm that's just not sexy to me. The girl wasn't that great either, and the small-dicked white guy was just limp and lame.
I was actually glad not to like the video. Part of me would like to be more dominant and to back away from this area of sexuality, maybe to back away from "porn escalation" generally, if that's what's going on. This is something I've been thinking about since I read an article about sex addiction yesterday. I had done a search for small dick humiliation, something like 'boyfriend OR husband small dick make fun of'. One of the results was a page about sex addiction and apparently, excessive thinking about penis size and constantly looking for "novel" porn are both symptoms.
Fortunately, the same two things still get me off now as when I hit puberty: great females asses and fellatio. After I first had anal sex, that became a porn fave, too. I mainly discovered femdom through porn, apart from the occasional glimpses I'd had from popular culture and magazines like Penthouse. Bestiality porn had the opposite effect. I had been vaguely turned-on by the idea of a woman sucking off a horse, or getting fucked by one (thanks, whoever made up that thing about Catherine the Great!), but seeing it for real brought home the reality that this was a dumb, non-consenting animal... having sex with a horse. Just kidding! Next came my fart fetish "renaissance", circa the Napster/Kazaa days, when it seemed anything and everything was suddenly out there for the taking. That also led me to really get into watching women swallow cum. The big dick/small dick fetish came later, around the time I discovered "Dick Size Contest", the website where honesty equals masochism! Being honest about my dick size there, and not realizing for quite some time that pretty much everyone else was exaggerating, led me to feel really small, which led me to realize that feeling small/inferior turned me on, and that it also made me feel pretty bad about myself.
But female asses are still my #1 turn-on, both in real life and in porn. Even pictures I've seen hundreds of time of nice asses still get me off. Next best is porn that makes me think about getting my dick sucked, and/or sucking a nice dick. Because my two biggest turn-ons are both constants since puberty, I think maybe I'm not a sex addict. But I want to stop going down that road, if that's where I'm headed, especially since it's also leading me to encourage my wife to think about other guys and to think I'm inferior to other guys! Call me crazy, but that seems like a dangerous game.
Now the only game I want to play is the sleeping game. Oh, I had an interesting dream last night... I was having anal sex with my first girlfriend, who sometimes looked and sounded just like my next door neighbor's wife! Except, in the dream she had a nice body, like my first girlfriend did back then, and she was able to do a serious gape, like a porn starlet. She was bent over on a hard wood bedroom floor, right next to the bed, face down on the floor, looking back at me and asking me to fuck her ass, spreading her cheeks with both hands and gaping her asshole. There was a kid in the next room, and the bedroom door was open, but I finally fucked her ass really hard. Come to think of it, maybe that's why I thought about fucking my wife's ass while she sucked my cock this morning. The mind is a strange place!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
The joys of my (fictional) "shortcummings"
Once upon a time, I believed I had a big dick.
I used to look at my naked body in the mirror and get so horny I just had to jack off. Now, I don't look if I can help it.
My penis is still 6.5" honest inches long (not to be confused with "internet inches"), and 5" around. It's nicely on the above average side of average and I've never had any complaints. Certainly it's brought me a LOT of pleasure over the years. My girlfriends always seemed to like it, too, although I'm not sure I've ever fucked a woman to orgasm. Fortunately for them (and now my wife), I love to lick and lick and lick. And use my fingers, etc.
Lately, though, I've been feeling kind of... small. I'm carrying some extra weight, much of it acquired recently (I've been too fucking busy - and not enough vice-versa!). Being bigger all over makes my cock look smaller. Also, maybe I've watched too much porn. Certainly the guys in mainstream porn have unusually huge cocks. Lately I've been watching more amateur porn. At first, I couldn't understand why even the guys in the amateur clips I'm watching have dicks bigger than mine! But then I realized I've only been watching the clips where the preview thumbnail shows the guy has a big dick. I went back yesterday and watching a dozen or so randomly selected clips, and I was relieved to find that 2/3 of the guys in those clips had dicks smaller than mine. But in the porn I've saved on the computer, and especially the clips I watch repeatedly, I'd guess 90% of the guys have bigger dicks than mine.
The cool thing, surprisingly, is that I'm getting off in a big way (no pun intended!) on believing I'm a "smalldick", and on being dominated, both by my wife (and her bigger-than-me strap-ons) and also in fantasy by guys with bigger dicks. Believing I have a small dick makes me feel more submissive, and less like a MAN, in the dominant, confident, Alpha Male sense of the word.
I've been fantasizing more and more about such a man: he's taller than me, with more muscles and less fat, with a very confident and dominant attitude - and of course a BIG DICK! I don't care at all about race; He could be white, black, hispanic, asian, mixed race - whatever. I like the idea of a younger guy, but someone a little older than me who's in such good shape that he looks/acts younger than me would be just as good.
He would be sadistic, immediately recognizing me for the submissive bitch I am. He'd make fun of me, putting me in my place pretty much constantly, calling me "boy" or "bitch", demanding (and getting) worshipful sexual service, whatever he demands, whenever he demands it. He'd make me call him Master.
Of course, he would cuckold me! He and my wife would dominate me together. She'd watch me suck Master's cock and eat load after load of his cum. She would "make me" bend over for him to split me wide open. She'd kick me in the balls, and make me kiss her ass (etc) in front of him. They'd laugh at me, including my little dick, a LOT. I'd have to give both of them foot massages... and so on.
I've started to put an ad on CL a few times, explicitly seeking a big-dicked Alpha to dominate me, but so far, I've always stopped myself. Usually, I read today's "casual encounters" section, look at some porn with big-dicked men, and then go upstairs and jerk off. After that, of course I have no more interest in posting an ad.
My wife gets turned off if I dwell on small penis humiliation (sph) too much, but she will go along sometimes and really get into it. She loves comparing her strap-on (usually Vixskin Johnny) to my "little average dick" and then making me suck her bigger cock before fucking me until I cum. Usually I suck on the Dream Dick while she's fucking me. Sometimes she taunts me, saying she has a lover and his cock is twice the size of mine. She says she wants to see me deepthroat his "gorgeous cock" and swallow his cum.
Lately, even when my wife and I are having vanilla sex, I have submissive small-dick-cuckold fantasies. I usually keep these to myself. This morning, we didn't have much time. I had to choose between kissing her ass, or fucking her from behind in spoon position. I chose the spoon option. She's put on a little extra weight lately, too, so her ass is nice and round. Between that and my extra weight, my cock penetrates only a couple of inches into her in this position. She didn't give any indication that she felt anything as I thrusted. My thrusts were short. I kept thinking about how small my dick is, how small it must feel to her, and how much differently she'd react to an Alpha with a big dick fucking her. The thought really got me off quickly, maybe too quickly. I held back a little, but I couldn't help thinking: "cum quick, little dick" (something I had my wife say to me once a few months ago). I don't think I lasted 5 minutes! She hadn't seemed into the sex, but when I came, she was disappointed, and said she'd been enjoying it and wished it had lasted longer. Oh, well.
I do last longer when I'm "in charge". I'm overdue for dominating her. It's been over 2 months. I'm looking forward to fucking her ass again. I hope I never become so submissive that it's always her dick in my ass! It's an awesome thought in fantasy. But I prefer the current reality.
Now I'm inspired to hit the gym. Losing weight will make my dick bigger! . And, I could meet my "Master" there! Haha.
I used to look at my naked body in the mirror and get so horny I just had to jack off. Now, I don't look if I can help it.
My penis is still 6.5" honest inches long (not to be confused with "internet inches"), and 5" around. It's nicely on the above average side of average and I've never had any complaints. Certainly it's brought me a LOT of pleasure over the years. My girlfriends always seemed to like it, too, although I'm not sure I've ever fucked a woman to orgasm. Fortunately for them (and now my wife), I love to lick and lick and lick. And use my fingers, etc.
Lately, though, I've been feeling kind of... small. I'm carrying some extra weight, much of it acquired recently (I've been too fucking busy - and not enough vice-versa!). Being bigger all over makes my cock look smaller. Also, maybe I've watched too much porn. Certainly the guys in mainstream porn have unusually huge cocks. Lately I've been watching more amateur porn. At first, I couldn't understand why even the guys in the amateur clips I'm watching have dicks bigger than mine! But then I realized I've only been watching the clips where the preview thumbnail shows the guy has a big dick. I went back yesterday and watching a dozen or so randomly selected clips, and I was relieved to find that 2/3 of the guys in those clips had dicks smaller than mine. But in the porn I've saved on the computer, and especially the clips I watch repeatedly, I'd guess 90% of the guys have bigger dicks than mine.
The cool thing, surprisingly, is that I'm getting off in a big way (no pun intended!) on believing I'm a "smalldick", and on being dominated, both by my wife (and her bigger-than-me strap-ons) and also in fantasy by guys with bigger dicks. Believing I have a small dick makes me feel more submissive, and less like a MAN, in the dominant, confident, Alpha Male sense of the word.
I've been fantasizing more and more about such a man: he's taller than me, with more muscles and less fat, with a very confident and dominant attitude - and of course a BIG DICK! I don't care at all about race; He could be white, black, hispanic, asian, mixed race - whatever. I like the idea of a younger guy, but someone a little older than me who's in such good shape that he looks/acts younger than me would be just as good.
He would be sadistic, immediately recognizing me for the submissive bitch I am. He'd make fun of me, putting me in my place pretty much constantly, calling me "boy" or "bitch", demanding (and getting) worshipful sexual service, whatever he demands, whenever he demands it. He'd make me call him Master.
Of course, he would cuckold me! He and my wife would dominate me together. She'd watch me suck Master's cock and eat load after load of his cum. She would "make me" bend over for him to split me wide open. She'd kick me in the balls, and make me kiss her ass (etc) in front of him. They'd laugh at me, including my little dick, a LOT. I'd have to give both of them foot massages... and so on.
I've started to put an ad on CL a few times, explicitly seeking a big-dicked Alpha to dominate me, but so far, I've always stopped myself. Usually, I read today's "casual encounters" section, look at some porn with big-dicked men, and then go upstairs and jerk off. After that, of course I have no more interest in posting an ad.
My wife gets turned off if I dwell on small penis humiliation (sph) too much, but she will go along sometimes and really get into it. She loves comparing her strap-on (usually Vixskin Johnny) to my "little average dick" and then making me suck her bigger cock before fucking me until I cum. Usually I suck on the Dream Dick while she's fucking me. Sometimes she taunts me, saying she has a lover and his cock is twice the size of mine. She says she wants to see me deepthroat his "gorgeous cock" and swallow his cum.
Lately, even when my wife and I are having vanilla sex, I have submissive small-dick-cuckold fantasies. I usually keep these to myself. This morning, we didn't have much time. I had to choose between kissing her ass, or fucking her from behind in spoon position. I chose the spoon option. She's put on a little extra weight lately, too, so her ass is nice and round. Between that and my extra weight, my cock penetrates only a couple of inches into her in this position. She didn't give any indication that she felt anything as I thrusted. My thrusts were short. I kept thinking about how small my dick is, how small it must feel to her, and how much differently she'd react to an Alpha with a big dick fucking her. The thought really got me off quickly, maybe too quickly. I held back a little, but I couldn't help thinking: "cum quick, little dick" (something I had my wife say to me once a few months ago). I don't think I lasted 5 minutes! She hadn't seemed into the sex, but when I came, she was disappointed, and said she'd been enjoying it and wished it had lasted longer. Oh, well.
I do last longer when I'm "in charge". I'm overdue for dominating her. It's been over 2 months. I'm looking forward to fucking her ass again. I hope I never become so submissive that it's always her dick in my ass! It's an awesome thought in fantasy. But I prefer the current reality.
Now I'm inspired to hit the gym. Losing weight will make my dick bigger! . And, I could meet my "Master" there! Haha.
Monday, August 25, 2014
I just wish I were prettier
I do. I really wish I were more attractive. I'm muscular and handsome, but I'm carrying some extra weight, enough that I don't think most gay/bi guys are interested. Maybe that's a good thing. Lately, everything's been pretty good with my wife and me, and I'm kind of relieved that I haven't hooked up with anyone else.
I haven't really "tried", as in contacting anyone, or posted anything. But I've done a lot of looking, and thinking. And fantasizing. 2014 seems to be the year of the Big Dominant Dick. That's what I've been fantasizing about more than anything else.
I read an interesting article over the weekend. The title asked: "Is Kink a Sexual Orientation?" After reading the article and thinking about it, I think Kink is at least 3 different orientations: dominant, submissive, and switch. I believe, as with the Kinsey Scale, there are finer points in-between. I'm a subby switch. I mostly like to be dominated. I do enjoy dominating sometimes, too, but I don't feel I'm that good at it, and it doesn't get me off as much as submission does. Sometimes I wish I got off more on being dominant, but that's just it - what gets us off isn't something we choose, but how we are.
According to the article, some gay people strongly disagree that Kink should be considered a sexual orientation, and I get it. But I do think that for many of us, being submissive or dominant is at least as significant to our sexual orientation as gender "preference". If I were single, I'd hook up with the first dominant person - male or female - who turned me on and wanted to hook up with me. That's what I've done since I hit puberty.
Lately, I've been having a lot of cuckold fantasies. I got my wife to rub her pussy against the Dream Dick while I was sucking it. She started out just rubbing her ass in my face, but since I was sucking the Dream Dick (at her "command"), she couldn't help touching it, and then she seemed to love the way it felt against her. That was about a week ago. She was wearing panties then. Yesterday evening, she started giving me a blowjob, and then she stopped and "suggested" I should be sucking cock, too. In just a minute or so, I was very close to cumming, so I stopped her and asked her to sit on my face. I licked her clit, and started rubbing the Dream Dick on her pussy lips, which she liked (her clit got hard, and her lips got wetter). I teased her pussy opening with the head of the Dream Dick, and she liked that, too. Then I started to insert it into her - and she did NOT like that at all! Oh well. I'm going to try again with a smaller dildo. But the sight of a big cock making my wife's pussy so wet - and right in my face! - sent me right over the edge. I came in her mouth and she kissed the cum into my mouth for swallowing. Yum!
Last week, after farting in my face in panties (wow!), she tied me up and whipped me while I worked my "little average dick" in the fleshlight flight. She had my hands cuffed to my collar, and my legs tied wide (actually I'm the one who set it up; she simply clipped my ankle cuffs to the rope I'd secured to the bed). I had tied my balls super tight with an elastic hair tie, and she made sure they were sticking out behind me so she could hit them with her (faux) fur slapper (the other side is leather; she slapped my ass and back with that side). She also marked my back and ass pretty well with the 3.5 ft single tail whip. She made me suck on the Dream Dick while she did this, and then, as I described above, she rubbed herself in my face and up and down the shaft of the big dildo. I came pretty quickly - pretty much as soon as I realized she was getting off on the Dream Dick!
As far as Kink orientations, my wife is a dommy switch. She'll submit sometimes, but she mainly enjoys dominating me. That wasn't always the case. For the first couple of years of our sex life, I was the dominant one. Mostly we had vaginal and oral sex. During missionary and cowgirl, I'd pinch her nipples. In doggy and reverse cowgirl, I slapped her ass and pulled her hair. I choked her. I still do those things, but now she does all that and more to me, and with an attitude I'd never have thought possible. I believe her kink orientation is a lot more flexible than mine is. Whatever, we work well together. It's the best sex of my whole life.
I still would like to suck the cum out of a big cock attached to a big dominant guy. But for now, sex with my wife and kinky fantasies of big-dicked Alpha Male domination are good enough. Especially when my wife "makes me" suck cock and bend over for her. Life is really good!
I haven't really "tried", as in contacting anyone, or posted anything. But I've done a lot of looking, and thinking. And fantasizing. 2014 seems to be the year of the Big Dominant Dick. That's what I've been fantasizing about more than anything else.
I read an interesting article over the weekend. The title asked: "Is Kink a Sexual Orientation?" After reading the article and thinking about it, I think Kink is at least 3 different orientations: dominant, submissive, and switch. I believe, as with the Kinsey Scale, there are finer points in-between. I'm a subby switch. I mostly like to be dominated. I do enjoy dominating sometimes, too, but I don't feel I'm that good at it, and it doesn't get me off as much as submission does. Sometimes I wish I got off more on being dominant, but that's just it - what gets us off isn't something we choose, but how we are.
According to the article, some gay people strongly disagree that Kink should be considered a sexual orientation, and I get it. But I do think that for many of us, being submissive or dominant is at least as significant to our sexual orientation as gender "preference". If I were single, I'd hook up with the first dominant person - male or female - who turned me on and wanted to hook up with me. That's what I've done since I hit puberty.
Lately, I've been having a lot of cuckold fantasies. I got my wife to rub her pussy against the Dream Dick while I was sucking it. She started out just rubbing her ass in my face, but since I was sucking the Dream Dick (at her "command"), she couldn't help touching it, and then she seemed to love the way it felt against her. That was about a week ago. She was wearing panties then. Yesterday evening, she started giving me a blowjob, and then she stopped and "suggested" I should be sucking cock, too. In just a minute or so, I was very close to cumming, so I stopped her and asked her to sit on my face. I licked her clit, and started rubbing the Dream Dick on her pussy lips, which she liked (her clit got hard, and her lips got wetter). I teased her pussy opening with the head of the Dream Dick, and she liked that, too. Then I started to insert it into her - and she did NOT like that at all! Oh well. I'm going to try again with a smaller dildo. But the sight of a big cock making my wife's pussy so wet - and right in my face! - sent me right over the edge. I came in her mouth and she kissed the cum into my mouth for swallowing. Yum!
Last week, after farting in my face in panties (wow!), she tied me up and whipped me while I worked my "little average dick" in the fleshlight flight. She had my hands cuffed to my collar, and my legs tied wide (actually I'm the one who set it up; she simply clipped my ankle cuffs to the rope I'd secured to the bed). I had tied my balls super tight with an elastic hair tie, and she made sure they were sticking out behind me so she could hit them with her (faux) fur slapper (the other side is leather; she slapped my ass and back with that side). She also marked my back and ass pretty well with the 3.5 ft single tail whip. She made me suck on the Dream Dick while she did this, and then, as I described above, she rubbed herself in my face and up and down the shaft of the big dildo. I came pretty quickly - pretty much as soon as I realized she was getting off on the Dream Dick!
As far as Kink orientations, my wife is a dommy switch. She'll submit sometimes, but she mainly enjoys dominating me. That wasn't always the case. For the first couple of years of our sex life, I was the dominant one. Mostly we had vaginal and oral sex. During missionary and cowgirl, I'd pinch her nipples. In doggy and reverse cowgirl, I slapped her ass and pulled her hair. I choked her. I still do those things, but now she does all that and more to me, and with an attitude I'd never have thought possible. I believe her kink orientation is a lot more flexible than mine is. Whatever, we work well together. It's the best sex of my whole life.
I still would like to suck the cum out of a big cock attached to a big dominant guy. But for now, sex with my wife and kinky fantasies of big-dicked Alpha Male domination are good enough. Especially when my wife "makes me" suck cock and bend over for her. Life is really good!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
More thoughts on why I wanna be a cocksucker
My wife called me a cocksucker the other day during sex. Kinky sex, obviously. It was while I was sucking the cyberskin dream dick, which she was holding on her crotch (being too lazy/tired at the time to put it in a harness and wear it). I was fucking a Fleshlight Flight at the time and I came not long after she called me that. It turns me on to be called a cocksucker, especially when I'm, y'know, sucking cock!
But WHY do I like sucking cock, and being called a cocksucker? Why am I going on popular websites looking for cock to suck? Why does the thought of sucking a real cock turn me on, and why does the thought of doing it in front of my wife turn me on even more?
The easy answer is that I'm a submissive bitch - and there's some truth to that. But that begs the question WHY am I a submissive bitch? My recent theory about "manhood" offers one answer to that: it takes me off the hook for not doing as much I feel a "real man" would do in my shoes. But it's OK, because I can't help it - I'm just not MAN enough, and my sexual desires confirm it. A real man wants to fuck. I want to get fucked. He wants to fuck a hot ass. I want to kiss it. He wants to get sucked. I want to suck. I suck, therefore I am... a submissive little-dicked bitch. Or something like that.
But wait - there's more. Two other possible reasons spring to mind. One, I like to give pleasure; and two, I like penises. Both are very true. At heart, I'm a kind and generous person who likes to make other people happy. It makes me happy to do that. Also I think penises are beautiful and among the sexiest things on earth, right up there with female ass and tits. Well, some penises, anyway, and only when they're fully erect, but those are the only ones I fantasize about. Sucking cock is a great way to combine both my pleasure in pleasing others and my love of penises.
And there's still more. I want more sex than I'm getting, but I don't want to cheat. I love my wife and I get off more on her than anyone else ever. That's why I brought up the subject of my frustration almost 2 years ago. She said she wished she had a slave she could make suck me off 3 times a week or so. I said there were lots of guys who would do that. She said she found it easier to imagine me sucking another guy's dick than it was to imagine me getting sucked off by a guy! I asked if she would let me do that for real, either get head from a guy, or give a guy head. She thought about it for a couple of days and finally said that it was OK, but only if there was 1) no kissing; 2) no emotional (or financial) involvement; 3) no diseases; and 4) no disclosure (in other words, she didn't want to know about it). I couldn't believe it! I asked if she wanted the same freedom to have sex with a girl (one of her daydream fantasies). She said she did feel free, but she didn't want to have sex with anyone but me. I asked her to let me know if that ever changed and she said she would. Anyway, the bottom line is that I don't get as much sex as I want, and my wife is OK with my giving or receiving oral with other guys. So it's convenient. And a lot more satisfying than jacking off or sucking on a silicone dick.
So for those keeping score at home, I think I want to suck cock 1) because it makes me feel like less of a man, which makes me feel less guilty about not doing more with my life; 2) because I like giving pleasure to others, because I like penises, and because guy/guy sex is a convenient way to release my excess sexual energy without cheating.
All of that feels true to some extent. But - will I put all this theory into practice? I truly have mixed feelings.
But WHY do I like sucking cock, and being called a cocksucker? Why am I going on popular websites looking for cock to suck? Why does the thought of sucking a real cock turn me on, and why does the thought of doing it in front of my wife turn me on even more?
The easy answer is that I'm a submissive bitch - and there's some truth to that. But that begs the question WHY am I a submissive bitch? My recent theory about "manhood" offers one answer to that: it takes me off the hook for not doing as much I feel a "real man" would do in my shoes. But it's OK, because I can't help it - I'm just not MAN enough, and my sexual desires confirm it. A real man wants to fuck. I want to get fucked. He wants to fuck a hot ass. I want to kiss it. He wants to get sucked. I want to suck. I suck, therefore I am... a submissive little-dicked bitch. Or something like that.
But wait - there's more. Two other possible reasons spring to mind. One, I like to give pleasure; and two, I like penises. Both are very true. At heart, I'm a kind and generous person who likes to make other people happy. It makes me happy to do that. Also I think penises are beautiful and among the sexiest things on earth, right up there with female ass and tits. Well, some penises, anyway, and only when they're fully erect, but those are the only ones I fantasize about. Sucking cock is a great way to combine both my pleasure in pleasing others and my love of penises.
And there's still more. I want more sex than I'm getting, but I don't want to cheat. I love my wife and I get off more on her than anyone else ever. That's why I brought up the subject of my frustration almost 2 years ago. She said she wished she had a slave she could make suck me off 3 times a week or so. I said there were lots of guys who would do that. She said she found it easier to imagine me sucking another guy's dick than it was to imagine me getting sucked off by a guy! I asked if she would let me do that for real, either get head from a guy, or give a guy head. She thought about it for a couple of days and finally said that it was OK, but only if there was 1) no kissing; 2) no emotional (or financial) involvement; 3) no diseases; and 4) no disclosure (in other words, she didn't want to know about it). I couldn't believe it! I asked if she wanted the same freedom to have sex with a girl (one of her daydream fantasies). She said she did feel free, but she didn't want to have sex with anyone but me. I asked her to let me know if that ever changed and she said she would. Anyway, the bottom line is that I don't get as much sex as I want, and my wife is OK with my giving or receiving oral with other guys. So it's convenient. And a lot more satisfying than jacking off or sucking on a silicone dick.
So for those keeping score at home, I think I want to suck cock 1) because it makes me feel like less of a man, which makes me feel less guilty about not doing more with my life; 2) because I like giving pleasure to others, because I like penises, and because guy/guy sex is a convenient way to release my excess sexual energy without cheating.
All of that feels true to some extent. But - will I put all this theory into practice? I truly have mixed feelings.
Still playing with fire - and not burned yet, dammit!
I work from home every day, and lately it's been slow. Today was no exception, and I spent a lot of today on c-list, looking for dick and/or a wet mouth for my dick. I found plenty of both on offer!
But, I ended up cumming into my Fleshlight Flight with my Vamp Talula (softskin, large, mocha) deep in my mouth and the smell of my wife's panties in my nose. Before I went to the bedroom, I watched Bree Olsen suck off a guy in POV, and swallow. I thought maybe I'd think about that, but the heart (or maybe in this case, "the hard") wants what it wants. I started out fantasizing that the guy whose big dick I'd almost sucked (more on that in a minute) was cuckolding me while my "little dick" was being sucked by the guy who yesterday offered to suck me off and swallow. What ended up getting me off, about 10 minutes later, was the thought of my submissively sucking a dominant guy's big dick in front of my wife, and her laughing at me as she watched. I tried to imagine having my dick in a submissive guys's mouth. That didn't do much for me, so I imagined I was being sucked by the submissive guy's wife, and then, that I was fucking his wife. But as I started cumming, my sexual intelligence (whatever that is) took my imagination to the most satisfying place to imagine cumming: inside my wife. Her pussy. Or her mouth. Or her ass. I thought about all three during my long orgasm. It really doesn't matter, I realized as I pumped stream after stream of cum into the plastic tube, as long as my cock is inside her. I felt really good after the O, and have all day since.
But, for reasons I still don't quite understand, I still went back on c-list and looked for potential hookups after that.
Maybe it was because my wife didn't want any sex this morning. She said she was in a hurry, that she had to be in to work early. Whatever, I had a major erection and want(ed) satisfaction.
As for those guys I almost hooked up with today... the first ad to really catch my eye was "hosting now - m4m", with a pic. 30 yrs old, nearby town. I opened it, and saw a pic of a very large black cock, hard as a rock. Must have been a real 8 incher. Pretty thick. Ad said he wanted head now. It had just been posted. I replied, said I could be there in an hour. After 5 minutes, no reply. 10 minutes, no reply. 15. 20. Oh, well. I was just about to give up when he replied "generous only". I have learned that this means he wants me to give him money to let me suck his dick. No, thanks! I don't think my wife would be cool with that at all, although I was tempted to ask how "generous" he was looking for!
Right after that, the same guy who posted the gloryhole ad yesterday posted it again. I replied right away and waited. 5 minutes. 10. 20. After 30 minutes, I gave up and enjoyed the Fleshlight and the fantasies. When I got back to the computer, he had replied and was interested! I was actually relieved that I was no longer interested.
The "generous" thing seems to be very common. I think "roses" refers to the same thing. Other people say they're "420 friendly", which sounds to me like they'll give it up if you've got pot. Well-hung, attractive black guys seem especially likely to want "generosity". Seems like male prostitution to me, but who am I to judge? Still, I think next time I see that guy's ad, I'll reply "how generous?"
I've also discovered more possibilities. In addition to m4m, there's mm4m, which is two guys looking for another guy, and mw4m, which is a guy/girl couple looking for another guy. I could totally get into some guy blowing me while his wife or girlfriend watches, or watching while his wife or girlfriend blows me! Although, that would be beyond the bounds of what my wife is cool with, so it's just going to be a fun fantasy.
I did just reply to 2 guys looking for a third. They're similar to me in ages and physiques, and their cock pics look great! I replied with a cock pic of my own. Somehow, I think it would almost be easier to do this with 2 guys than with just one. In any event, it's an exciting thought!
But, I ended up cumming into my Fleshlight Flight with my Vamp Talula (softskin, large, mocha) deep in my mouth and the smell of my wife's panties in my nose. Before I went to the bedroom, I watched Bree Olsen suck off a guy in POV, and swallow. I thought maybe I'd think about that, but the heart (or maybe in this case, "the hard") wants what it wants. I started out fantasizing that the guy whose big dick I'd almost sucked (more on that in a minute) was cuckolding me while my "little dick" was being sucked by the guy who yesterday offered to suck me off and swallow. What ended up getting me off, about 10 minutes later, was the thought of my submissively sucking a dominant guy's big dick in front of my wife, and her laughing at me as she watched. I tried to imagine having my dick in a submissive guys's mouth. That didn't do much for me, so I imagined I was being sucked by the submissive guy's wife, and then, that I was fucking his wife. But as I started cumming, my sexual intelligence (whatever that is) took my imagination to the most satisfying place to imagine cumming: inside my wife. Her pussy. Or her mouth. Or her ass. I thought about all three during my long orgasm. It really doesn't matter, I realized as I pumped stream after stream of cum into the plastic tube, as long as my cock is inside her. I felt really good after the O, and have all day since.
But, for reasons I still don't quite understand, I still went back on c-list and looked for potential hookups after that.
Maybe it was because my wife didn't want any sex this morning. She said she was in a hurry, that she had to be in to work early. Whatever, I had a major erection and want(ed) satisfaction.
As for those guys I almost hooked up with today... the first ad to really catch my eye was "hosting now - m4m", with a pic. 30 yrs old, nearby town. I opened it, and saw a pic of a very large black cock, hard as a rock. Must have been a real 8 incher. Pretty thick. Ad said he wanted head now. It had just been posted. I replied, said I could be there in an hour. After 5 minutes, no reply. 10 minutes, no reply. 15. 20. Oh, well. I was just about to give up when he replied "generous only". I have learned that this means he wants me to give him money to let me suck his dick. No, thanks! I don't think my wife would be cool with that at all, although I was tempted to ask how "generous" he was looking for!
Right after that, the same guy who posted the gloryhole ad yesterday posted it again. I replied right away and waited. 5 minutes. 10. 20. After 30 minutes, I gave up and enjoyed the Fleshlight and the fantasies. When I got back to the computer, he had replied and was interested! I was actually relieved that I was no longer interested.
The "generous" thing seems to be very common. I think "roses" refers to the same thing. Other people say they're "420 friendly", which sounds to me like they'll give it up if you've got pot. Well-hung, attractive black guys seem especially likely to want "generosity". Seems like male prostitution to me, but who am I to judge? Still, I think next time I see that guy's ad, I'll reply "how generous?"
I've also discovered more possibilities. In addition to m4m, there's mm4m, which is two guys looking for another guy, and mw4m, which is a guy/girl couple looking for another guy. I could totally get into some guy blowing me while his wife or girlfriend watches, or watching while his wife or girlfriend blows me! Although, that would be beyond the bounds of what my wife is cool with, so it's just going to be a fun fantasy.
I did just reply to 2 guys looking for a third. They're similar to me in ages and physiques, and their cock pics look great! I replied with a cock pic of my own. Somehow, I think it would almost be easier to do this with 2 guys than with just one. In any event, it's an exciting thought!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Close, but no large erection!
Today, I looked at c-list several times. I almost responded to a few ads. There were a couple of nice looking cocks in need of sucking - but also in need of hosting. Not going there (or rather, they're not coming here).
There was a very tempting "glory hole" some guy in his 20s has made at his house or apartment. I've seen his ad every day this week, only now he put a pic of his actual cock. It's on the small side of average, but somehow I still kinda wanted to suck it! He's only hosting after 9 PM, so no way.
I noticed some things looking through the ads. I already knew that there were more guys wanting to give head than wanting to receive it. I hadn't noticed before, but today I realized that there are guys of all ages (18 to 70+) looking, and it seems like the younger guys are somewhat more likely than older ones to want a blowjob rather than to give one. Which is cool, because I'd rather hook up with a younger guy anyway. Younger guys want sex more often, they tend to have more reliable erections, and they tend to cum more. And they're more beautiful. This is based on my own experience only - when I was younger, I wanted sex more often, my cock got hard and stayed hard whether I wanted it to or not, I used to cum more, and I was more beautiful!
I also have a theory, perhaps a bit off the wall... but since penis size is a sexually-selected trait - ie, women tend to prefer larger penises - that makes it more likely that they'll have male offspring with larger-than-average penises, and so average penis size should tend to increase with each generation. Bullshit... or not? I have no actual data to back this up. Which makes me want to get some data - by hooking up with young (20s) guys. If I do, I'll share my "discoveries".
The fact that I keep looking, to the point of almost being unable not to look, makes me think I may well end up hooking up. But I did notice one other thing today. I don't get all that horny looking through the ads. Huh? I do get somewhat horny, more so when looking at dicks I might suck than when reading about guys who want to suck me. But, just before I wrote this, I had been looking on c-list, and my cock was about half-erect. I checked out a little porn (F/m femdom) and got fully hard right away, and stayed there.
So why do I keep wanting to look at the ads? I think it's because I've found it very satisfying to suck cock in the past, and I feel it could be satisfying now. My most recent experience wasn't that great, but when I used to suck off my friend years ago, it was awesome. I'd often jack off multiple times after swallowing his cock, and then his load. We were both younger then.
I'm sure I'll keep looking. I think it's fairly likely that I'll end up with a dick in my mouth sometime soon. Preferably a big, young, hard dick that's aching to be sucked. The funny thing is, that thought makes me excited, a little horny - but not fully erect.
I have a theory about that, too. It just popped into my head now. I think the reason I want to suck cock is the same reason I like small penis humiliation (sph). And that is, it lets me off the hook for not being as awesome, and, more to the point, for not doing as many awesome things, as I'd like. Because, if I'm not doing enough awesome things because I'm simply not man enough, then it's beyond my control and I should just relax and enjoy my place in the universe. Which, if I'm not much of a man, would naturally be a place where I'm submitting to my superiors: dominant, confident guys with big dicks. If I suck "superior" dicks, or (as in my darker fantasies) let them cuckold me, it kind of proves the theory of my inferior manhood. That's a lot easier than working hard to be a better man.
I think I'm onto something: my cock is finally rock hard thinking about m/m oral sex!
There was a very tempting "glory hole" some guy in his 20s has made at his house or apartment. I've seen his ad every day this week, only now he put a pic of his actual cock. It's on the small side of average, but somehow I still kinda wanted to suck it! He's only hosting after 9 PM, so no way.
I noticed some things looking through the ads. I already knew that there were more guys wanting to give head than wanting to receive it. I hadn't noticed before, but today I realized that there are guys of all ages (18 to 70+) looking, and it seems like the younger guys are somewhat more likely than older ones to want a blowjob rather than to give one. Which is cool, because I'd rather hook up with a younger guy anyway. Younger guys want sex more often, they tend to have more reliable erections, and they tend to cum more. And they're more beautiful. This is based on my own experience only - when I was younger, I wanted sex more often, my cock got hard and stayed hard whether I wanted it to or not, I used to cum more, and I was more beautiful!
I also have a theory, perhaps a bit off the wall... but since penis size is a sexually-selected trait - ie, women tend to prefer larger penises - that makes it more likely that they'll have male offspring with larger-than-average penises, and so average penis size should tend to increase with each generation. Bullshit... or not? I have no actual data to back this up. Which makes me want to get some data - by hooking up with young (20s) guys. If I do, I'll share my "discoveries".
The fact that I keep looking, to the point of almost being unable not to look, makes me think I may well end up hooking up. But I did notice one other thing today. I don't get all that horny looking through the ads. Huh? I do get somewhat horny, more so when looking at dicks I might suck than when reading about guys who want to suck me. But, just before I wrote this, I had been looking on c-list, and my cock was about half-erect. I checked out a little porn (F/m femdom) and got fully hard right away, and stayed there.
So why do I keep wanting to look at the ads? I think it's because I've found it very satisfying to suck cock in the past, and I feel it could be satisfying now. My most recent experience wasn't that great, but when I used to suck off my friend years ago, it was awesome. I'd often jack off multiple times after swallowing his cock, and then his load. We were both younger then.
I'm sure I'll keep looking. I think it's fairly likely that I'll end up with a dick in my mouth sometime soon. Preferably a big, young, hard dick that's aching to be sucked. The funny thing is, that thought makes me excited, a little horny - but not fully erect.
I have a theory about that, too. It just popped into my head now. I think the reason I want to suck cock is the same reason I like small penis humiliation (sph). And that is, it lets me off the hook for not being as awesome, and, more to the point, for not doing as many awesome things, as I'd like. Because, if I'm not doing enough awesome things because I'm simply not man enough, then it's beyond my control and I should just relax and enjoy my place in the universe. Which, if I'm not much of a man, would naturally be a place where I'm submitting to my superiors: dominant, confident guys with big dicks. If I suck "superior" dicks, or (as in my darker fantasies) let them cuckold me, it kind of proves the theory of my inferior manhood. That's a lot easier than working hard to be a better man.
I think I'm onto something: my cock is finally rock hard thinking about m/m oral sex!
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