6 years.

It's been 6 years since I posted on here. Mainly because I was extremely contented and didn't feel like working through my tangled sexuality or whatever.

Now there are a lot of things I need to figure out, and since posts exploring sexuality can be fun and sexy, I thought of the blog, which I'd many times considered either resuming, or deleting. So here we go.

I can start with what I'm into lately, which is what I've always pretty much been into: asses and cocks. This morning I came into my Fleshlight Pilot while watching a compilation of Jynx Maze getting her ass licked (I lasted about 3 minutes). Yesterday, I sucked a dark-skinned Cyber Cock dildo while watching a JOI video with visuals of big cocks and a female narrator who "encourages" the listener to give into their desire to please superior cock (took me maybe 10 minutes).

The phrases "suck my dick" and "kiss my ass" really get me off. One of my favorite auto-erotic games when I'm watching videos is to keep a dildo handy, and if the word "suck" is said three times, or twice as a command, I have to start sucking the dildo. If a woman "tells me" to kiss her ass, I have to imagine doing it, and to cum as quickly as possible (lately, just a few seconds usually).

I realized I don't like huge cocks. Don't get me wrong, I love big cocks/dildos, but above a certain size they're just a pain in the ass (pun intended, and too-big dildos can also be a pain in the throat). 6.5 to 8 inches is the size that turns me on the most, not hugely thick if it's on the larger end. 

The Vixskin Outlaw turns me on so much, I bought two of them years ago, the "chocolate" and  then later the "caramel". But now I rarely use either of them. I'd be glad to sell the caramel one if I could figure out how.

Several years ago, I used to do a lot of anal play, with my wife at the time (who was into strapon sex), and also solo. Lately, I just suck. Rarely do I put anything in my ass, and if I do, it's usually a vibrating bullet.

The thought of having actual sex with an actual person seems ridiculous and impossible. My wife was amazing and no one else comes close enough. I do fantasize a lot, about kissing ass, giving head, getting blowjobs, getting fucked, getting spitroasted, being cuckolded...

I especially like the idea of playing the older cuckold husband with a young couple. We'd pretend that she was married to me, but liked having sex with a hot younger man (her husband). I'd kiss her ass and lick her pussy, and suck his cock before (and ideally also while and maybe after) they fucked. 

But I haven't put any hookup apps on my phone, and I don't know of anything good online since Craigslist. I hooked up twice through CL over the years, once to give a blowjob to a guy who laughably overstated his cock size, and once with a guy who wanted to compare cocks (I was way bigger).

I also met a guy through Collarspace and sucked his cock, but it was pretty lame. His cock was on the short side, he himself was a big on the fat side, and he had to jack off a long time before he could get off (big fragrant load and he was impressed that I swallowed it all).

All of that was years ago and for now I'm just going to keep pleasuring myself. 

Fantasy sex and real sex are way different. Real women are amazing, and they can be quite flawed in many ways and still be incredibly sexy. Women (or men) in fantasy have to be close to perfect.

Stretch marks are a huge turn off when I'm looking at porn pics. If a woman's asshole is "messed up" (ass fanciers will know what I mean), then I'm no longer interested in looking at her pics. If a woman is too skinny, or more "fat" than "voluptuous", then I'm out.

In real life, these things aren't deal breakers. But in fantasy they are. And I'll bet these "perfect" fantasy women each have something that would make them unpleasant to live with in real life.

As far as who I'm into in terms of fantasy, it's an ever-expanding list. Jynx Maze, I've decided, probably has the best ass in porn history, and it's amazing that after so many anal poundings, her asshole remained close to perfect. She farted in a guy's face in at least one scene, which instantly made her a fave when I watched it.

Long-missed, Queen AdyBa, who loved (and hopefully still loves) farting on a face, will always be at the top of my favorites. Most of femdom is driven by men and their fantasies, but AdyBa seemed always to be directing the action to fulfill HER desires. Her attitude can't be matched.

Brazil fart porn is great: big-assed dominant women farting on smaller, weaker subs, sometimes "making" them swallow it. In my current favorite video, Grazy has a guy in helpless bondage in a smotherbox. She smothers him and farts on him a lot, making him swallow several and repeatedly lifting one ass cheek to fart in his face before sealing off his air again.

I still follow "Wifey". She's older than I'm usually into, but I've been following her for over 20 years now and I've kind of aged with her. Now that she's having sex with lots of guys who all just happen to have cocks bigger than her husband's, there's a whole new edge (and she almost always swallows).

Heather Harmon's comeback wasn't as big as I'd hoped, but she and Jim are as amazing as ever. Only Cathy Heaven, Annette Schwarz, Bobbi Starr and a rare few others give such amazing head. It would be fun to see her sucking other big beautiful cocks besides her husband's, but his dick is way bigger than mine and it's always a turn-on watching those two.

In a recurring fantasy, I live in a cock-centric femdom prison slash video production compound. It is in fact a prison with barred cells, and the prisoners are forced to make humiliating femdom videos and to serve the dommes in many ego-crushing ways. I haven't settled on a name yet, but a contender is Femdom Fun World.

The male pecking order is determined solely by penis size. Guys with dicks smaller than 5.5 inches ("Little Dicks",) are feminized, subject to castration if they misbehave, and required at all times to obey all men with bigger dicks, including having to suck cock or bend over for them on command. Guys with dicks bigger than 6.5 inches ("Big Dicks") are usually immune from having to obey bigger guys - but there are all kinds of twists and deceptions and politics and kinky sadism.

Guys with dicks between 5.5 and 6.5 inches can abuse Little Dicks under certain conditions, but must submit to Big Dicks at other times.

Ruling it all are the dommes, who are led by a sadistic young Queen (who prefers to be addressed by subs as "goddess", Big Dicks can call her "your majesty" or "your highness"). She is tall, strong, excruciatingly sexy and habitually, relentlessly cruel. She loves having subs wipe her ass (a coveted honor for subs), and all kinds of kinky sex, especially queening, forced bi, ballbusting and her favorite, castration. 

Men sign up to join, lured by the promise of quick money in a bad economy, often with the encouragement of their wives, most of whom it turns out knew they were essentially selling their husbands into slavery. Sometimes the wives torment their imprisoned husbands by making actual cuckolding videos with bigger-dicked studs, making their sub hubbies lick pussy and ass, suck cock, smell farts and eat cum. Supposedly, the men are signing up for a limited contract (6 months or a year),  but there's a castration clause in the contract all have to sign (and almost nobody reads): if they opt not to renew their contract, they are free to leave - but their testicles become the permanent property of the organization when they sign, and if they want to leave, they have to leave without their balls.

When the subs sign up, they are allowed to check up to ten items on an opt-out list of humiliating acts and told they won't be forced to do "anything that doesn't turn them on". Arousal is measured with a sensor, and kinky guys being who they are, it turns out almost anything is a turn on to men in long-term chastity, even fetishes they explicitly opted out of. So subs are tricked (or betrayed by their own arousal) into every kind of humiliation.

The video production business is hugely profitable (of course, the prisoners are cheated out of their money), both from the femdom side, and from the unexpected bonus of the wives. The wife vs big dick videos prove to be almost as popular as the sub vs domme ones, and some of the best abuse on the helpless subs is inflicted by their wives. The Small Dicks stage a rebellion slash escape attempt, and when it fails, the leaders are publicly castrated and anyone with a cock under 6 inches is put in permanent chastity.

Most of these fantasies are submissive I realize. In real life I've been dominant most of the time, and I frequently have dominant fantasies. I like to get my cock sucked, I like to fuck pussy as well as male and female ass. I often fantasize about being obediently served by a cuckold couple. 

It would be fun to be a Big Dick in Femdom Fun World. Lately though, I'm probably 2/3 of the time into submission. I'm getting really good at sucking dildos again, which is a fun topic for another post.