Miscellaneous Sexy Thoughts

Thank heaven (if that's where it comes from) for amateur porn. It's awesome to watch real people have real sex. Somehow, it's hotter than watching the pros.

Of course, I also have peeves about it.

Not sure if it truly qualifies as a peeve (maybe more an observation)... amateur porn is a lot more like pro porn than it used to be. I discovered amateur porn not long after I discovered porn video stores. Back in the VHS days, amateur porn was really... amateur, or so it seemed. Some of the people were not attractive at all, and a lot of the people were pretty boring to watch, because they would just, say, fuck in missionary for 20 minutes, then the guy would cum inside the woman and it would just be over. And you could never get those 20 minutes of your life back. And sometimes the video would be really attractive people having kind of boring sex, or maybe hot sex, but not very attractive people. Seeing people completely free of body hair was rare. Video quality was almost always pretty bad, sometimes painfully bad.

The video quality is still sometimes bad. But now the people are almost always attractive. Manscaping is ubiquitous, and women with pubic hair are hard to find. The sex is more like pro porn, too. I have been limiting my downloads to videos with attractive people, usually with deepthroating and what I call "mouth facials", where the guy cums in the woman's mouth (with bonus points for swallowing). As I mentioned in yesterday's entry, most of the videos I have chosen have guys with big dicks.

This is not to say that all those things are common now, just that, even if you limit yourself to videos with all those things, there's still a lot to choose from! Almost every day, I download more than I can watch in one day. So I'm stockpiling (hoarding?) porn, perhaps for that day in the future when society collapses and there's no more downloading! (I hope we're off the grid by then, and that whatever video players we have then still play mp4s and wmvs and so on).

Anyway, what was I on about? Peeves with amateur porn, right? Shit, never mind. I do get annoyed with webcam porn, especially when the people spend a lot of time looking at their monitors, watching themselves have sex and also responding to questions/requests. And artificial hairlessness just isn't my thing, on men or women. But after this off-the-top-of-my-head critique, I've realized that I basically LOVE amateur porn and am really grateful for it!

In real life, I've had 3 orgasms since the last time I posted, 2 of them "self-inflicted". This morning my wife gave me a good (if sleepy blowjob). She didn't sit on my face, I put a finger up her ass and she moved herself on it. Maybe she would have sat on my face if I'd taken longer. I kept thinking "little dicks cum quick" and imagining she was just milking me to keep me satisfied so she'd be free to hook up with her lover. But then I looked down at her sucking me, and my dick looked huge in her mouth. She tried to go deep a few times and couldn't overcome her gag reflex. I remembered the last time I fucked her in the ass, and thought about what I wanted to do the next time I fuck her in the ass, maybe tomorrow night! And that's what I thought about when I came, fucking her ass with my big dick! I came in her mouth, and briefly thought about having her kiss it into my mouth, but instead I kept moving my finger in her ass, which she liked enough to wait a good 30 seconds before running off to spit and brush.

Yesterday morning and this afternoon I fucked my fleshlight flight. Yesterday, I sniffed her panties and imagined her cuckolding me with a big-dicked guy, right in front of me. I had several of my larger dildos out, including Vixskin Johnny, the one she usually fucks me with, and the Dream Dick, the one she usually chooses for me to suck. Instead, I sucked on the Vixskin Bandit, which is a little longer and just a hair less girthy than I am. I deepthroated it repeatedly, and enjoyed having to overcome my gag reflex to do so. I imagined the dildo penetrating my wife's pussy and the thought made me cum. I sniffed her panties as I came and tried to bring my mind back to something more dominant. Didn't work.

Today, I got out the Good Vibrations Maven, which is the same thickness as me, but much longer, and nicely curved up. I started out imagining it was my wife's lover's cock (a few months back, when I laid out all my dildos and asked her to pick the "perfect" cock, she picked the Maven). After a minute or so, I thought of my wife wearing the Maven in her strap-on harness, making me suck it, and then fucking me hard with it. That got me off in a hurry. It felt so good when I came in the fleshlight that I couldn't help remembering the morning blowjob and I felt really warm and satisfied thinking that my wife likes giving me such pleasure. It was like cumming in her mouth again, except I could stay in and keep cumming as long as I wanted.

Based on porn (including amateur) and my limited same-sex experience, I seem to cum for a longer time than most other guys. My orgasms last at least 30 seconds, often 2 minutes or more. The spurting is over all too quickly, 2 or 3 squirts lasting maybe 10 seconds total, but then the radiating wave of intense pleasure spreads from my cock to all over my body, head to toe, and just keeps going and going. I didn't used to be this way, but I started focusing on the sensation more and more, and now it's just amazing how long it lasts, and how good it feels. Anyway...

Aside - I forgot to mention the new recurring thought that helps get me off: I've started getting off on the idea that my wife's orgasms are more important than mine are. Her orgasms (and her lover's) matter, mine don't. I first had the thought last weekend while I was licking my wife to series of orgasms. I haven't shared the thought with her - in fact, I'm a little afraid to share it!

I downloaded a cuckold video today - but deleted it after scanning through it. I don't find Shane Diesel attractive. His dick is too big to be a turn-on. It's not that fun to watch, because women can't take that much of his dick in their mouths, and often not in their pussies, either. Also, he doesn't let/make guys suck him, even though he appears in lots of these videos. And when he cums, it's that disappointing, oozing sort of orgasm that's just not sexy to me. The girl wasn't that great either, and the small-dicked white guy was just limp and lame.

I was actually glad not to like the video. Part of me would like to be more dominant and to back away from this area of sexuality, maybe to back away from "porn escalation" generally, if that's what's going on. This is something I've been thinking about since I read an article about sex addiction yesterday. I had done a search for small dick humiliation, something like 'boyfriend OR husband small dick make fun of'. One of the results was a page about sex addiction and apparently, excessive thinking about penis size and constantly looking for "novel" porn are both symptoms.

Fortunately, the same two things still get me off now as when I hit puberty: great females asses and fellatio. After I first had anal sex, that became a porn fave, too. I mainly discovered femdom through porn, apart from the occasional glimpses I'd had from popular culture and magazines like Penthouse. Bestiality porn had the opposite effect. I had been vaguely turned-on by the idea of a woman sucking off a horse, or getting fucked by one (thanks, whoever made up that thing about Catherine the Great!), but seeing it for real brought home the reality that this was a dumb, non-consenting animal... having sex with a horse. Just kidding! Next came my fart fetish "renaissance", circa the Napster/Kazaa days, when it seemed anything and everything was suddenly out there for the taking. That also led me to really get into watching women swallow cum. The big dick/small dick fetish came later, around the time I discovered "Dick Size Contest", the website where honesty equals masochism! Being honest about my dick size there, and not realizing for quite some time that pretty much everyone else was exaggerating, led me to feel really small, which led me to realize that feeling small/inferior turned me on, and that it also made me feel pretty bad about myself.

But female asses are still my #1 turn-on, both in real life and in porn. Even pictures I've seen hundreds of time of nice asses still get me off. Next best is porn that makes me think about getting my dick sucked, and/or sucking a nice dick. Because my two biggest turn-ons are both constants since puberty, I think maybe I'm not a sex addict. But I want to stop going down that road, if that's where I'm headed, especially since it's also leading me to encourage my wife to think about other guys and to think I'm inferior to other guys! Call me crazy, but that seems like a dangerous game.

Now the only game I want to play is the sleeping game. Oh, I had an interesting dream last night... I was having anal sex with my first girlfriend, who sometimes looked and sounded just like my next door neighbor's wife! Except, in the dream she had a nice body, like my first girlfriend did back then, and she was able to do a serious gape, like a porn starlet. She was bent over on a hard wood bedroom floor, right next to the bed, face down on the floor, looking back at me and asking me to fuck her ass, spreading her cheeks with both hands and gaping her asshole. There was a kid in the next room, and the bedroom door was open, but I finally fucked her ass really hard. Come to think of it, maybe that's why I thought about fucking my wife's ass while she sucked my cock this morning. The mind is a strange place!