After 10 days or so with (almost) no porn, I decided to try a week WITH porn again and see how I liked it.
In short - I liked it! I'm probably going to keep liking it, but I'm spending A LOT less time on it.
And I'm finding it more boring and repetitive than I did before. All of it is boring and repetitive. Femdom porn, although the good stuff gets me hornier than any other kind of porn, is no exception. Most videos are crafted to very specific fetishes: foot, ass, cuckold, cbt, etc. There is some "crossover". Chastity features in some videos of all the above fetishes, and sometimes foot fetish is combined with cbt, or facesitting, and so forth. But for the most part, Each type of video is made, according to what have become accepted formulas, for the narrow audience of a particular fetish.
My favorite fetish - beautiful girls farting, preferably directly into slaves' faces - doesn't seem to be very popular. I'm assuming there aren't more femdom fart videos because 1) the market is fairly small, 2) farting is a turn-off for many other fetishists; and 3) good fart videos are hard to make. I don't know how true any of that actually is. It's just the impression I get from what I've seen/read in the online world.
A lot of the fart content available for sale is, I'm sorry to say, pretty lame. Fart Fantasy and Fart Domination are probably the lamest. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad they exist, some of the videos are good, and I hope they stick around and get better. I think the videos are loosely scripted, and mostly, it's clear that the models don't understand the fetish. They keep saying the same lame things over and over again, and it's rare to see a model having fun with it.
But maybe it's just my personal taste? If the world of femdom video existed only for me, dommes would fart whenever they needed to, loudly and proudly, and laugh their asses off about it, how empowering it is to fart in a bitch's face, how wonderfully humbling for the "receiver". CBT videos would have dommes fart right in the faces of doubled-over pain sluts, cuckolding hotwives would fart in their husbands' faces in front of bulls (and they'd share a laugh about it) - and of course, facesitting and assworship videos would have a lot of dominant facefarting in them!
Fart femdom is as much about attitude as about anything else. It's about the power of the domme, and the powerlessness of the slave, powerless to resist the desire to submit to, please, and be dominated and utterly humiliated by the domme. Not only will the slave allow the domme to fart in his/her face - in fact the slave is powerless to stop it - but also the slave will actually LIKE being farted on! What's more disrespectful and empowering than busting ass right in a bitch's face?! Especially if it's done in a very controlling way (smell my ass, bitch - I'm going to FART now), or also if it's done without warning, with no concern for the slave's preferences.
Torie (who keeps her cuck in chastity, and often keeps him in a closet), is perhaps the best at femdom farting today. In at least two videos of hers, her chastity cuck slave is worshipfully licking/sucking her asshole clean as she verbally emasculates him, when, out of the blue, she rips a big, real fart right on his tongue! Both times, he momentarily recoils, and both times, she laughs at him and "makes him" resume licking her ass.
I also enjoy the old Anaconda videos with Olivia Saint and her frequent brunette companion (whose name I don't know). Any time one of them needed to fart, they made sure their slave's face was up (or under) her butt. And they almost always laughed, and taunted the slave about it!
My very favorite of all-time, though, is Queen AdyBa. She truly enjoys dominating with her ass and her farts and I'm sure every submissive fart fetishist who ever saw one of her videos would have paid a high price to trade places with her lucky, lucky slave! I love the way she would "dance" while sitting on her slave's face, and bounce up and down on his face with no regard for his well-being, and fart on him with no warning whenever she needed to fart. She laughed and taunted - she clearly enjoyed herself A LOT!
She only made videos for a short time, and I'm not sure why she stopped. I think probably she started a family? I actually "knew" her before the videos, from a couple of fart forums (back in the day, as they say). Before I ever had any idea what she looked like, I was in a submissive spell under her. She demanded proper respect, and made her tastes and opinions clear. The tastes and opinions of those who would serve her didn't matter to her at all. Seeing her in pics and videos only confirmed my desire to serve her, which I did by buying, reviewing and promoting her videos. I wish I could have done more! I feel it's selfish of me to wish she had done more, but I do wish that.
My wife farted in my face this morning. I was half-asleep when I heard her release a small fart. She was facing away from me. She reached back and pulled down on my ear, and then moved her ass higher in the bed. I obediently put my face right up into her cotton-pajama-clad ass. I got rock-hard immediately smelling her ass, and the faint remnant of her recent fart. She put the cover over me; I slid my cock and balls between her feet. She squeezed my cock and balls, and rubbed up and down. I started fucking her feet. Then she ripped a GIANT fart that smelled like sulfur! I felt the heat and the vibration. It was loud! It must have lasted 5 seconds or more, and the smell was overpowering. "Trapped" under the covers, in darkness with my face up her butt, her fart was my whole world. I loved it! She pulled down her pajama bottoms. As soon as I started kissing her bare ass, she farted again, this time a short, loud stinky burst that also smelled like sulfur! I put my tongue up her ass and started sucking, half expecting her to fart in my mouth. Her ass shook, jiggling on my face as she laughed, and that sent me over the edge. I came all over her foot. She extended the foot and told me to lick it up. I did!
Otherwise, sex this week has been all blowjobs, three of them, two in 69 with her on top. The other time, I was fingering her ass and pussy at the same time; I came when she started fucking my fingers with a purpose, especially the finger in her ass. Her gorgeous ass was right beside my face, and it was easy to remember how it felt to have my cock up in there.
I haven't made her cum this week, and I really want to do that! I also haven't had my cock inside her pussy. There just hasn't been much time, only a few minutes in the morning some days. I hope I can lick her, and then fuck her, in the morning. Sweet dreams!
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
No porn, no problem!
In fact, I think I'm better off without it. For the most part, anyway.
Today, I broke my "porn fast" and downloaded some pics from ATK, almost all of "hairy" women, that is to say, women who haven't shaved off all their natural body hair. Maybe it's because I've only been with women who don't shave "down there", but whatever the reason, I find "hairy" women A LOT more arousing than hairless women.
But still, the pictures barely turned me on at all!
And I realized the huge amount of time I've wasted... I found it took over 2 hours to look at this week's ATK "hairy hotties" (something like 60 6-pic galleries, of which I downloaded maybe 100 pics. And in the end, while the women are attractive, I found the pics garish, and somehow a little sad. Maybe I'll find them more arousing some other time?
But that seems unlikely, as I've been almost 2 days without an orgasm now! Yesterday morning, my wife woke me with a blowjob, which ended up with her on top of me in a 69. I came fingering her ass while I thought about fucking her ass. Awesome!
Yesterday afternoon, I masturbated with the fleshlight and my wife's panties again. Before going to the bedroom, I looked at CL and got aroused more by posts of guys looking for another guy to dominate them than I did by posts from guys looking for head, or looking to cuckold. Maybe my plan to become more dominant is working? Well... maybe it's not working that well, because while I sniffed my wife's fragrant panties, I kept thinking of being fucked by my wife - and also by another guy while she watched - as well as about my wife whipping me, kicking me, and farting in my face! But as before, what sent me over the edge was remembering my wife saying "Please cum in my submissive bitch ass!" That, and the smell of her panties, made it easy to believe I really was fucking her ass. I fucked the fleshlight hard for just a few seconds and then exploded! I probably didn't cum all that much, having cum in my wife's mouth only a few hours before, but the orgasm lasted a long time.
This morning, my wife had to get up early for a meeting. This evening, we went out for dinner and a movie. By the time we got home (about two hours ago), she was falling asleep.
I think I want to try some kinky porn video, so I'm going to take a quick (I hope) look at what's new and then call it a night.
... after spending what seemed only a few minutes - in reality 45 minutes(!) - looking at kinky porn and not getting aroused, I've decided to continue my porn-free experiment. I did find a couple of fart clips that look vaguely interesting, so I've started downloading them. But I think I'll stick to the real thing, and use my free time for more interesting pursuits.
Today, I broke my "porn fast" and downloaded some pics from ATK, almost all of "hairy" women, that is to say, women who haven't shaved off all their natural body hair. Maybe it's because I've only been with women who don't shave "down there", but whatever the reason, I find "hairy" women A LOT more arousing than hairless women.
But still, the pictures barely turned me on at all!
And I realized the huge amount of time I've wasted... I found it took over 2 hours to look at this week's ATK "hairy hotties" (something like 60 6-pic galleries, of which I downloaded maybe 100 pics. And in the end, while the women are attractive, I found the pics garish, and somehow a little sad. Maybe I'll find them more arousing some other time?
But that seems unlikely, as I've been almost 2 days without an orgasm now! Yesterday morning, my wife woke me with a blowjob, which ended up with her on top of me in a 69. I came fingering her ass while I thought about fucking her ass. Awesome!
Yesterday afternoon, I masturbated with the fleshlight and my wife's panties again. Before going to the bedroom, I looked at CL and got aroused more by posts of guys looking for another guy to dominate them than I did by posts from guys looking for head, or looking to cuckold. Maybe my plan to become more dominant is working? Well... maybe it's not working that well, because while I sniffed my wife's fragrant panties, I kept thinking of being fucked by my wife - and also by another guy while she watched - as well as about my wife whipping me, kicking me, and farting in my face! But as before, what sent me over the edge was remembering my wife saying "Please cum in my submissive bitch ass!" That, and the smell of her panties, made it easy to believe I really was fucking her ass. I fucked the fleshlight hard for just a few seconds and then exploded! I probably didn't cum all that much, having cum in my wife's mouth only a few hours before, but the orgasm lasted a long time.
This morning, my wife had to get up early for a meeting. This evening, we went out for dinner and a movie. By the time we got home (about two hours ago), she was falling asleep.
I think I want to try some kinky porn video, so I'm going to take a quick (I hope) look at what's new and then call it a night.
... after spending what seemed only a few minutes - in reality 45 minutes(!) - looking at kinky porn and not getting aroused, I've decided to continue my porn-free experiment. I did find a couple of fart clips that look vaguely interesting, so I've started downloading them. But I think I'll stick to the real thing, and use my free time for more interesting pursuits.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Could not be in better hands
Ah, masturbation.
I started back pleasuring myself right after yesterday's post. I looked at some pics of my wife (including some "new old" pics I had forgotten about) and then I grabbed a "fresh" pair of her panties, lubed up the fleshlight, and came in a few minutes fucking the fleshlight while I sniffed her panties and fantasized about fucking her ass. Of course, my mind wandered to other things, like imagining my dick was small, kissing her ass and her farting in my face! But I kept bringing my mind back to fucking her ass. I came remembering how intense and submissive she was, face down on the bed with my cock balls-deep in her ass! The orgasm satisfied me deeply and I felt good about it for the rest of the day.
Now I'm thinking of doing something like that again, probably as soon as I finish writing this.
I guess I "cheated" again; I looked at CL just now, and got especially turned on by one guy's post. He lives not far from here, he has a big dick (and 3 pics of it) and he wants to receive blowjobs on his lunch break on a regular basis. There were a couple other similar posts. Also a number of couples looking for another guy, and some guys looking for bi couples.
Maybe it's good to fantasize? I'm confused this week. And now I'm not horny anymore after writing about my confusion!
... but I just went back and look at that guy's dick pics and I'm horny again! ... and now I just looked at some pics of my wife - and I'm VERY horny!
Well, there's just one thing to do at this point....
... and I did it. I lubed up the fleshlight again, and got a new "fresh" pair of my wife's panties and fucked the fleshlight thinking of fucking her ass. Well, mostly that. I also thought about her fucking me, and about getting fucked by a dominant guy in front of my wife, and then about being with a kinky couple and getting head from the guy while his wife pegs him! But I managed to bring it back to fucking my wife's ass. I fantasized her saying "Oh god! Please cum in my submissive bitch ASS!" And with that thought in my head, I came in the fleshlight, which really does feel a lot like fucking a tight ass. It was a good orgasm.
I do miss porn somewhat. I'd say 90% of my unsatisfied craving is for hot naked female ass, with the other 10% being for other female body parts (mainly tits, pussy, feet, armpits) and cock. And I did look at some cock pics, which did turn me on. Not to mention the pics of my wife I've been looking at all week long.
I don't really miss hardcore video porn. The thought of Annette Schwarz deepthroating a huge cock is a turn-on, as is the thought of Monica Santhiago's ass - but still pics would turn me on just as much, I think, as a 500 mb video. More than regular hardcore, or amateur porn, I'd like to see some good farting video.
I wish Queen Adyba were still making clips. That topic really deserves its own post. Her clips are somehow sexier than anyone else's, probably because SHE is sexier than anyone else. Anyway....
I started back pleasuring myself right after yesterday's post. I looked at some pics of my wife (including some "new old" pics I had forgotten about) and then I grabbed a "fresh" pair of her panties, lubed up the fleshlight, and came in a few minutes fucking the fleshlight while I sniffed her panties and fantasized about fucking her ass. Of course, my mind wandered to other things, like imagining my dick was small, kissing her ass and her farting in my face! But I kept bringing my mind back to fucking her ass. I came remembering how intense and submissive she was, face down on the bed with my cock balls-deep in her ass! The orgasm satisfied me deeply and I felt good about it for the rest of the day.
Now I'm thinking of doing something like that again, probably as soon as I finish writing this.
I guess I "cheated" again; I looked at CL just now, and got especially turned on by one guy's post. He lives not far from here, he has a big dick (and 3 pics of it) and he wants to receive blowjobs on his lunch break on a regular basis. There were a couple other similar posts. Also a number of couples looking for another guy, and some guys looking for bi couples.
Maybe it's good to fantasize? I'm confused this week. And now I'm not horny anymore after writing about my confusion!
... but I just went back and look at that guy's dick pics and I'm horny again! ... and now I just looked at some pics of my wife - and I'm VERY horny!
Well, there's just one thing to do at this point....
... and I did it. I lubed up the fleshlight again, and got a new "fresh" pair of my wife's panties and fucked the fleshlight thinking of fucking her ass. Well, mostly that. I also thought about her fucking me, and about getting fucked by a dominant guy in front of my wife, and then about being with a kinky couple and getting head from the guy while his wife pegs him! But I managed to bring it back to fucking my wife's ass. I fantasized her saying "Oh god! Please cum in my submissive bitch ASS!" And with that thought in my head, I came in the fleshlight, which really does feel a lot like fucking a tight ass. It was a good orgasm.
I do miss porn somewhat. I'd say 90% of my unsatisfied craving is for hot naked female ass, with the other 10% being for other female body parts (mainly tits, pussy, feet, armpits) and cock. And I did look at some cock pics, which did turn me on. Not to mention the pics of my wife I've been looking at all week long.
I don't really miss hardcore video porn. The thought of Annette Schwarz deepthroating a huge cock is a turn-on, as is the thought of Monica Santhiago's ass - but still pics would turn me on just as much, I think, as a 500 mb video. More than regular hardcore, or amateur porn, I'd like to see some good farting video.
I wish Queen Adyba were still making clips. That topic really deserves its own post. Her clips are somehow sexier than anyone else's, probably because SHE is sexier than anyone else. Anyway....
Monday, October 13, 2014
Giving it up for your love, everything
Since I stopped sucking fake dicks (about 4 days now), I seem to have given up masturbation as well.
I haven't given up orgasms, though. I've had three, and my wife had about 5 in the all-about-her session the morning after I fucked her ass. After I licked her until she begged me to stop, she sat on my face and sucked me off (and spat).
I did "cheat" that morning by briefly looking at some porn, not hardcore, just pics of naked women, mostly ass shots. I found the pics arousing and I liked the way they aroused me. I got hard imagining fucking ass, and didn't have any submissive thoughts. That was right before I licked her.
This morning I kissed her ass and came when she farted! I was licking her ass with her on her side and my dick between her feet, and she was grinding her ass into my face in rhythm with my tongue. I kept trying to stick my tongue further and further up her ass. I kept thinking about fucking her ass, imagining sliding my cock into her in the same rhythm. She said something I couldn't understand, so I pulled my tongue out to reply. She kept moving her ass in rhythm for a second or two - and then she paused, and farted - a big hissing fart that smelled like sulfur! I breathed in deeply as she started back into grinding her ass into my face. I tried to inhale all of it! I imagined what it would be like to fart on someone who liked it so much, and that thought, combined with the smell, sent me over the edge. I came all over her feet! She laughed as I licked up my cum.
This morning before I kissed her ass, I asked her how she liked being dominated and assfucked by me - she said she liked it a lot. But then she added that she liked dominating me even better! We agreed that she will dominate me next time. I'm looking forward to that, but it will probably be a couple of weeks at least.
I do feel a little deprived from having fewer orgasms than usual! But I've also had more time to do other things, so I've gotten (mostly) caught up on my work, and I've been better than usual about exercising, excellent in fact. I'm hoping that a higher level of fitness will lead to better sex. It almost always has in the past.
So the experiment continues, until the weekend, I think. It's not easy. I keep wanting to search for new pics, either at ATK or by search boxing for "anal POV" or "blowjob POV". But I can resist!
I haven't given up orgasms, though. I've had three, and my wife had about 5 in the all-about-her session the morning after I fucked her ass. After I licked her until she begged me to stop, she sat on my face and sucked me off (and spat).
I did "cheat" that morning by briefly looking at some porn, not hardcore, just pics of naked women, mostly ass shots. I found the pics arousing and I liked the way they aroused me. I got hard imagining fucking ass, and didn't have any submissive thoughts. That was right before I licked her.
This morning I kissed her ass and came when she farted! I was licking her ass with her on her side and my dick between her feet, and she was grinding her ass into my face in rhythm with my tongue. I kept trying to stick my tongue further and further up her ass. I kept thinking about fucking her ass, imagining sliding my cock into her in the same rhythm. She said something I couldn't understand, so I pulled my tongue out to reply. She kept moving her ass in rhythm for a second or two - and then she paused, and farted - a big hissing fart that smelled like sulfur! I breathed in deeply as she started back into grinding her ass into my face. I tried to inhale all of it! I imagined what it would be like to fart on someone who liked it so much, and that thought, combined with the smell, sent me over the edge. I came all over her feet! She laughed as I licked up my cum.
This morning before I kissed her ass, I asked her how she liked being dominated and assfucked by me - she said she liked it a lot. But then she added that she liked dominating me even better! We agreed that she will dominate me next time. I'm looking forward to that, but it will probably be a couple of weeks at least.
I do feel a little deprived from having fewer orgasms than usual! But I've also had more time to do other things, so I've gotten (mostly) caught up on my work, and I've been better than usual about exercising, excellent in fact. I'm hoping that a higher level of fitness will lead to better sex. It almost always has in the past.
So the experiment continues, until the weekend, I think. It's not easy. I keep wanting to search for new pics, either at ATK or by search boxing for "anal POV" or "blowjob POV". But I can resist!
Saturday, October 11, 2014
To fuck, or to BE fucked?
I fucked my wife in the ass again! I gave it to her long and hard. I fucked her ass in 5 different positions! I came in her mouth and she swallowed. Wow.
Here's the thing, known only to me: what got me off was thinking submissive thoughts. And I'm not happy about that. I mean, really submissive thoughts.
I'm assfucking her in missionary, looking her in the eyes as I twist first one nipple, then the other... and I'm turned on thinking about how small my dick is, how short my strokes are, how she barely feels it and how, because my dick is so small, she doesn't feel tight to me (although she does feel tight almost the whole time). She's ass-riding my cock in cowgirl... and I'm staying hard thinking about her riding my face, "making me" smell her ass and rubbing it all over my face like a taunting dance, grinding her clit on my mouth and nose, farting on my face and in my mouth and laughing about it. Then I'm assfucking her in doggy... and I almost cum from thinking that the reason I haven't cum yet is because it's more natural for me to cum with a big dick in my ass and/or a dick in my mouth than it is for me to cum with my "submissive little average dick" in my wife's ass.
I fuck her harder and faster as I imagine her assfucking me, while I suck a dominant man's cock. A particular friend comes (cums?) to mind. I imagine he has a big dick. I suddenly wish I could actually suck a dildo, or his hard dick. I imagine that he and my wife have feelings for each other. I imagine that he's letting me suck his dick because my wife asked him to let me. I imagine her "making him" fuck me while I worship her ass, while she farts on my face, or in my mouth. I imagine their laughter, and my humiliation. I'm just about to cum... but then my wife needs to change positions.
After pulling out, I find my erection isn't as solid as before. By now, I've had my cock in her ass for over 20 minutes. Fortunately, it's solid enough to put back in her ass, and I fuck her ass for quite a while longer. But she starts spontaneously saying submissive things ("Fuck me like a bitch! I'm your slave! I'm your ass whore! Please cum in my bitch ass, Sir!), and I find it impossible to get back into the submissive fantasies that I was getting off on. I spank her, I choke her, I pull her hair. I put a couple of serious love bites on her shoulders. But dominant thoughts aren't getting me close to orgasm. And let's be honest - my fucking muscles are tired!
So finally, I pull out and tell her I want her to suck me off and swallow my cum. She submits like a champ! After having her wash my cock, I tell her to kneel between my legs. I micromanage ("Lick my balls... now suck my balls, one a time... now kiss your way up my cock...."). I have her turn so I can play with her ass. Her mouth feels incredible on my cock. Her ass feels incredible in my hands, and thinking about how'd I'd just OWNED that ass is a HUGE turn-on. I feel her tits, and feel her tit moving on my thigh, as she moves her mouth up and down on my cock. I'm close to cumming. I suddenly think about sucking cock, specifically about sucking the Dream Dick with my wife watching me suck it and taunting me for sucking it. And I cum - a massive, super-satisfying earthquake of an orgasm. I spurt repeatedly, then I feel my cock continue to pulse inside her mouth. She starts to pull off and I tell her to keep it in her mouth until I pull her off. I wait 30 seconds or so. I have seldom had such a great orgasm! The only thing I don't like is that I kept thinking submissive thoughts, and finding the submissive thoughts more arousing than the reality of assfucking my wife like a porn star/BDSM Master Stud. I tell her to swallow, and she immediately swallows! I feel DEEPLY satisfied, physically and mentally. I feel extremely warm feelings for her, and much of it is because of her worshipful submission. I tell her to put her head on my chest and rest...
Historically, I'm a switch. Hell, I'm a bisexual switch. That's me. But I'm finding it more difficult to be a good dom. I'm not sure if it's because I'm actually becoming more submissive, or whether it's because I've had a realistic dildo in my mouth every time I've cum for the past few months. Have I "trained" myself to get off only if I have a dick in my mouth?!
I hope not!
Going porn free has been good. I'm going to go "dick free" for a week now and see how that goes. I'm going to try to get off remembering the many times I've dominated, on thoughts of spanking and fucking my wife's ass, and also the other asses I've spanked and fucked. I'm going to remember the things my wife said, and the things others have said. I'm going to see if I can "train" myself to be more dominant. If not, well, I guess I'll have to learn to enjoy being a complete bitch!
And yes - that thought makes me horny. (Sigh).
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Porn Free
I've decided not to watch porn for at least a week. That started 3 days ago. It's going much better than I'd expected!
My wife and I were on vacation last week. We were in a beautiful seaside place, but unfortunately, it rained most of the week. She decided to spend much of that time working in the hotel's business center (which means she will still have 3 of the 5 vacation days to use later). While she was doing that, I lazed in the room, dipped in the pool and hot tub, or worked out at the gym. While in the room, I caught up on the news articles I haven't had time to read lately.
On our last day there, I read an article about sex addiction, and how to tell if you are a sex addict. According to the article, obsession with penis size is a symptom, as is excessive porn watching, and also "porn escalation", that is, when you need increasingly more novel and extreme porn to get off. I'd already noticed these things in myself, but hadn't realized they were symptoms of sex addiction. Since giving up cigarettes many years ago, I've HATED even the thought of being addicted to anything.
I also read an article about a study linking porn watching to narcissism. The more porn you watch, it seems, the more narcissistic you are. Ouch. I do love myself, but I hate the thought of being obsessed with myself!
As I said, I'd noticed the "symptoms", and have been a little concerned, especially about what I consider my more dangerous fantasies. Cuckolding, mainly. I've been concerned that I might do something that would harm our marriage, such as actually convincing my wife to have sex with an Alpha Male, only to lose her to him.
So I decided to take a break from porn, and to try to bring my fantasies back to "the basics" - at least the basics for ME. I was a little worried that I wouldn't feel horny enough to want sex with my wife - but I've been glad to find that I want her AT LEAST as much as I did when I was watching a lot of porn. And I've still been masturbating, even on days when my wife and I hook up. I'm planning to go and pleasure myself after writing this entry!
Instead of porn, I've looked at pics and videos of my wife. They're not explicit. A few are of her in a bikini, or shots of her butt, but nothing overtly sexual. Most of them are close-ups of her face, looking directly into the camera. I'm finding those pics and videos arouse me just as much as hardcore porn does!
I have also continued to look at CL. Just now, I looked at a few recent posts from men looking to hook up with both a man and a woman at the same time. I daydreamed about responding to some of them, as well as to making my own post, looking for a tall guy with a big dick who'd like me to suck his dick in front of my wife (or maybe in front of HIS wife, or maybe he'd want to suck MY dick)... I think it would be better for me to stop looking at posts like this!
I've also read some cuckold erotica, which gave me the familiar mix of feelings (arousal, humiliation, shame) that I get when I look at CL, or when I look at hardcore cuckold porn. Again, I want to give this up, too.
I want my sexual desires and fantasies to be focused only on my wife, and on sex between us only. So I guess I'll try a week (starting now) with nothing but pics and video of my wife. And our collection of dildos. And her panties! And this blog!
We didn't have as much sex on our vacation as I'd have liked. Between the weather and work stresses, my wife wasn't in a sexy mood most of the week. We did have sex 3 times, and it was great all three times. The first night, I fucked her in several different positions, before finally cumming inside her in flat doggy. Two mornings later, I kissed her ass and fucked her feet, licking the cum off after I came! On our last morning there (day before yesterday), I licked her to several orgasms before cumming in her mouth in a 69 with her on top.
This morning I fucked her lazily in the spoon position. She reached back and squeezed my balls some, and then pinched my nipple and talked dirty until I came inside her. I lasted about 15 minutes, which was a surprisingly long time. As usual, she only started talking after I asked her to say cruel things! She told me she would like to see me suck another guy's dick, a tall, strong guy with a dick as big as hers (Vixskin Johnny). She said her dick (and his) made my dick look puny, like a little boy's dick! She told me to think about getting fucked hard by that guy, with my face firmly pressed up into her ass at the same time. She told me to work my "little average dick" while I thought about that. She sent me over the edge by saying she'd rip a giant fart right in my mouth, and she and the guy fucking me would laugh at me when she did it! It was a great orgasm and I must have stayed inside her for 5 minutes or more afterwards.
We didn't get a chance to play again yet. I want to dominate her this weekend - her ass will be MINE!
Right now, I'm going upstairs to fuck my fleshlight while I suck on the Dream Dick, sniff her panties, and tease my ass with a Vixskin dildo. I already laid out my well-lubed fleshlight, the Dream Dick, a pair of her recently worn panties to sniff, and the Vixskin Goodfella, Mustang, Bandit and Johnny to tease my ass with. I'm going to think about this morning, and try NOT to think about another guy fucking or making love with my wife! Wish me luck!
My wife and I were on vacation last week. We were in a beautiful seaside place, but unfortunately, it rained most of the week. She decided to spend much of that time working in the hotel's business center (which means she will still have 3 of the 5 vacation days to use later). While she was doing that, I lazed in the room, dipped in the pool and hot tub, or worked out at the gym. While in the room, I caught up on the news articles I haven't had time to read lately.
On our last day there, I read an article about sex addiction, and how to tell if you are a sex addict. According to the article, obsession with penis size is a symptom, as is excessive porn watching, and also "porn escalation", that is, when you need increasingly more novel and extreme porn to get off. I'd already noticed these things in myself, but hadn't realized they were symptoms of sex addiction. Since giving up cigarettes many years ago, I've HATED even the thought of being addicted to anything.
I also read an article about a study linking porn watching to narcissism. The more porn you watch, it seems, the more narcissistic you are. Ouch. I do love myself, but I hate the thought of being obsessed with myself!
As I said, I'd noticed the "symptoms", and have been a little concerned, especially about what I consider my more dangerous fantasies. Cuckolding, mainly. I've been concerned that I might do something that would harm our marriage, such as actually convincing my wife to have sex with an Alpha Male, only to lose her to him.
So I decided to take a break from porn, and to try to bring my fantasies back to "the basics" - at least the basics for ME. I was a little worried that I wouldn't feel horny enough to want sex with my wife - but I've been glad to find that I want her AT LEAST as much as I did when I was watching a lot of porn. And I've still been masturbating, even on days when my wife and I hook up. I'm planning to go and pleasure myself after writing this entry!
Instead of porn, I've looked at pics and videos of my wife. They're not explicit. A few are of her in a bikini, or shots of her butt, but nothing overtly sexual. Most of them are close-ups of her face, looking directly into the camera. I'm finding those pics and videos arouse me just as much as hardcore porn does!
I have also continued to look at CL. Just now, I looked at a few recent posts from men looking to hook up with both a man and a woman at the same time. I daydreamed about responding to some of them, as well as to making my own post, looking for a tall guy with a big dick who'd like me to suck his dick in front of my wife (or maybe in front of HIS wife, or maybe he'd want to suck MY dick)... I think it would be better for me to stop looking at posts like this!
I've also read some cuckold erotica, which gave me the familiar mix of feelings (arousal, humiliation, shame) that I get when I look at CL, or when I look at hardcore cuckold porn. Again, I want to give this up, too.
I want my sexual desires and fantasies to be focused only on my wife, and on sex between us only. So I guess I'll try a week (starting now) with nothing but pics and video of my wife. And our collection of dildos. And her panties! And this blog!
We didn't have as much sex on our vacation as I'd have liked. Between the weather and work stresses, my wife wasn't in a sexy mood most of the week. We did have sex 3 times, and it was great all three times. The first night, I fucked her in several different positions, before finally cumming inside her in flat doggy. Two mornings later, I kissed her ass and fucked her feet, licking the cum off after I came! On our last morning there (day before yesterday), I licked her to several orgasms before cumming in her mouth in a 69 with her on top.
This morning I fucked her lazily in the spoon position. She reached back and squeezed my balls some, and then pinched my nipple and talked dirty until I came inside her. I lasted about 15 minutes, which was a surprisingly long time. As usual, she only started talking after I asked her to say cruel things! She told me she would like to see me suck another guy's dick, a tall, strong guy with a dick as big as hers (Vixskin Johnny). She said her dick (and his) made my dick look puny, like a little boy's dick! She told me to think about getting fucked hard by that guy, with my face firmly pressed up into her ass at the same time. She told me to work my "little average dick" while I thought about that. She sent me over the edge by saying she'd rip a giant fart right in my mouth, and she and the guy fucking me would laugh at me when she did it! It was a great orgasm and I must have stayed inside her for 5 minutes or more afterwards.
We didn't get a chance to play again yet. I want to dominate her this weekend - her ass will be MINE!
Right now, I'm going upstairs to fuck my fleshlight while I suck on the Dream Dick, sniff her panties, and tease my ass with a Vixskin dildo. I already laid out my well-lubed fleshlight, the Dream Dick, a pair of her recently worn panties to sniff, and the Vixskin Goodfella, Mustang, Bandit and Johnny to tease my ass with. I'm going to think about this morning, and try NOT to think about another guy fucking or making love with my wife! Wish me luck!
Friday, October 3, 2014
Still looking... but NOT hoping to find
Or maybe that should be 'hoping not to find'. Both are true, but the second one's even more true. While I've come close to finding a CL hookup a few times (all, by the way, when I posted looking for a guy to suck MY dick), now I've reached the point where I actively don't want it to happen.
I've realized that I'd feel weird about having a sexual experience that didn't include my wife. I can easily imagine/fantasize having amazing sex with my wife and another person, but I can't see enjoying sex with another person if she's not there. And I would HATE for her to have sex with someone else without me.
But fantasy is another thing entirely.
I keep checking out the CL ads, and usually find something that makes me horny to read. Like the dominant guy yesterday who was looking for a "pathetic husband" to show him naked pics of his wife, suck his cock and swallow. I don't have any naked pics of my wife, but I looked at the few bikini shots I do have and fantasized about being dominated by that guy. I sucked on a dildo (Dream Dick) while I jerked myself off with a fleshlight, imagining him looking at my wife's body and humiliating me while I sucked his big dick. I moved to the bed so I could fuck the fleshlight and I imagined I was sucking the guy's cock while my wife fucked me from behind. I came right after I imagined the guy cumming in my mouth. In my fantasy they both laughed and verbally bullied me into swallowing.
I've had a lot of similar fantasies lately, and a lot of submissive masturbation.
My wife DID fuck me last weekend! It was good. She was a little tired, so it was a short session - but pretty intense. I'd asked her to choose the time for the session, and to simply tell me to go get ready to be fucked! We talked about it early in the week, but it didn't happen for several days. When she finally told me to go and get ready, it was HOT, really humbling and humiliating! I gave myself a thorough anal douche, lubricated my ass, and inserted first the Tantus Ryder plug, then the Vixskin Johnny. When I was fully ready, I informed my 'Goddess', and waited, naked, on my knees, by the bed. When she came into the room, I raised my eyes to hers, and got slapped hard! She had me turn around, and then she kicked me pretty hard many times in the ass, and barely connected with my balls a couple of times! Then she worked on me with a whip and a slim-tip riding crop. It hurt! Then she demanded I kiss, lick and suck her feet all over under and in-between, before making me lick her ass for a long time.
Then she told me it was time for me to get fucked! I helped her put on the big dildo, and at her command, started sucking it worshipfully. I put her hand on the back of my head and she fucked my face deep and hard, making me tear up and gag - I loved it! Then she told me to bend over the bed.
I put my cock in my fleshlight flight and laid face down on the bed. She didn't waste any time - just lined up her cock and my ass, and thrust herself firmly and steadily all the way up my ass! She pulled out, waited about 30 seconds, and then slid her big dick back into my ass, all the way up to her balls, which I felt against my ass cheeks. I thought I was going to cum right away, but she was on top of me and I was finding it a little difficult to thrust my cock inside the "slave tube". She moved back enough for me to start thrusting my ass back to meet her insistent cock. Over and over I felt her balls slap against my ass, and I knew I wouldn't last long. She hit my back a few times with the whip, and even leaned forward and bit my neck! When she did this I felt her breasts on my back and that, combined with her whisper in my ear that I was her bitch, made me cum hard! She rammed her cock all the way into me and held it there, just moving it an inch or so in and out, until I finished cumming.
The next morning I gave her head for a very long time, which she seemed to enjoy even more than usual. She came several times, including at least two of the powerful ones with internal vaginal contractions. Then she gave me a little head, but mostly just jerked me off while she grinded her pussy/clit on my face and tongue. Out of the blue, she ripped a HUGE fart right into my nose! I wish she had then sat on my face and kept jerking my cock (maybe while she laughed or said something cruel), but instead she leaned forward, gripped the base of my cock tightly and put the head of my cock in her mouth. That's the only thing that wasn't perfect about that morning's session. I didn't cum right away as she'd expected I would, but when she started stroking my cock again, and moving her ass around on my face (like when you taunt someone by shaking your ass at them), I came - and it felt amazing. Making it even better, she held my cock in her mouth a long time, until I completely finished cumming, then kissed the cum into my mouth and watched me swallow it with a smirky grin on her face!
This week has been way too busy for both of us. I kissed her ass and fucked her feet one morning, and she sucked me off yesterday morning. Both sessions were great! I keep fantasizing about her farting on me. Almost every time we hook up in the morning, she first goes to the bathroom to pee and then brush her teeth. And almost every time she does that, when she pees, she farts loudly! But she didn't fart when I had my face/tongue shoved up her ass - I feel so deprived!!
I managed to find time for a solo session every day this week, even twice on one day when I knew she had an evening meeting. Submissive fantasies almost every time, but I did fantasize about fucking a guy's wife once, and about fucking my wife in the ass (actually I thought about that, at least briefly, every time). But what got me off more than anything else was imagining myself submitting to a big-dicked, dominant, alpha male in front of my wife, and of her and him dominating me together. I usually came with a dildo in my mouth (usually the Dream Dick), and either imagining a cock in my ass, or actually teasing my ass with a dildo (usually Vixskin Johnny).
I've decided we actually need something like 6 dildos (we have over 20). That would include 3 "suckable" dildos like the Dream Dick, and 3 silicone dildos, with one of each kind that's smaller than mine, one that's about the same size as me and one that's bigger than me. In suckables, I like the Cyber Cock (smaller), Noches Latinas 6" (about the same) and Dream Dick (bigger!). Noches Latinas 8" would also work. In dual-density silicone, Vixskin Goodfella is smaller, Vamp Softskin Elvis is about the same, and Johnny is the bigger-than-mine Alpha. I wish I'd realized this before buying a whole bunch of plastic dicks!
I hope we'll get a chance to play again this weekend!
I've realized that I'd feel weird about having a sexual experience that didn't include my wife. I can easily imagine/fantasize having amazing sex with my wife and another person, but I can't see enjoying sex with another person if she's not there. And I would HATE for her to have sex with someone else without me.
But fantasy is another thing entirely.
I keep checking out the CL ads, and usually find something that makes me horny to read. Like the dominant guy yesterday who was looking for a "pathetic husband" to show him naked pics of his wife, suck his cock and swallow. I don't have any naked pics of my wife, but I looked at the few bikini shots I do have and fantasized about being dominated by that guy. I sucked on a dildo (Dream Dick) while I jerked myself off with a fleshlight, imagining him looking at my wife's body and humiliating me while I sucked his big dick. I moved to the bed so I could fuck the fleshlight and I imagined I was sucking the guy's cock while my wife fucked me from behind. I came right after I imagined the guy cumming in my mouth. In my fantasy they both laughed and verbally bullied me into swallowing.
I've had a lot of similar fantasies lately, and a lot of submissive masturbation.
My wife DID fuck me last weekend! It was good. She was a little tired, so it was a short session - but pretty intense. I'd asked her to choose the time for the session, and to simply tell me to go get ready to be fucked! We talked about it early in the week, but it didn't happen for several days. When she finally told me to go and get ready, it was HOT, really humbling and humiliating! I gave myself a thorough anal douche, lubricated my ass, and inserted first the Tantus Ryder plug, then the Vixskin Johnny. When I was fully ready, I informed my 'Goddess', and waited, naked, on my knees, by the bed. When she came into the room, I raised my eyes to hers, and got slapped hard! She had me turn around, and then she kicked me pretty hard many times in the ass, and barely connected with my balls a couple of times! Then she worked on me with a whip and a slim-tip riding crop. It hurt! Then she demanded I kiss, lick and suck her feet all over under and in-between, before making me lick her ass for a long time.
Then she told me it was time for me to get fucked! I helped her put on the big dildo, and at her command, started sucking it worshipfully. I put her hand on the back of my head and she fucked my face deep and hard, making me tear up and gag - I loved it! Then she told me to bend over the bed.
I put my cock in my fleshlight flight and laid face down on the bed. She didn't waste any time - just lined up her cock and my ass, and thrust herself firmly and steadily all the way up my ass! She pulled out, waited about 30 seconds, and then slid her big dick back into my ass, all the way up to her balls, which I felt against my ass cheeks. I thought I was going to cum right away, but she was on top of me and I was finding it a little difficult to thrust my cock inside the "slave tube". She moved back enough for me to start thrusting my ass back to meet her insistent cock. Over and over I felt her balls slap against my ass, and I knew I wouldn't last long. She hit my back a few times with the whip, and even leaned forward and bit my neck! When she did this I felt her breasts on my back and that, combined with her whisper in my ear that I was her bitch, made me cum hard! She rammed her cock all the way into me and held it there, just moving it an inch or so in and out, until I finished cumming.
The next morning I gave her head for a very long time, which she seemed to enjoy even more than usual. She came several times, including at least two of the powerful ones with internal vaginal contractions. Then she gave me a little head, but mostly just jerked me off while she grinded her pussy/clit on my face and tongue. Out of the blue, she ripped a HUGE fart right into my nose! I wish she had then sat on my face and kept jerking my cock (maybe while she laughed or said something cruel), but instead she leaned forward, gripped the base of my cock tightly and put the head of my cock in her mouth. That's the only thing that wasn't perfect about that morning's session. I didn't cum right away as she'd expected I would, but when she started stroking my cock again, and moving her ass around on my face (like when you taunt someone by shaking your ass at them), I came - and it felt amazing. Making it even better, she held my cock in her mouth a long time, until I completely finished cumming, then kissed the cum into my mouth and watched me swallow it with a smirky grin on her face!
This week has been way too busy for both of us. I kissed her ass and fucked her feet one morning, and she sucked me off yesterday morning. Both sessions were great! I keep fantasizing about her farting on me. Almost every time we hook up in the morning, she first goes to the bathroom to pee and then brush her teeth. And almost every time she does that, when she pees, she farts loudly! But she didn't fart when I had my face/tongue shoved up her ass - I feel so deprived!!
I managed to find time for a solo session every day this week, even twice on one day when I knew she had an evening meeting. Submissive fantasies almost every time, but I did fantasize about fucking a guy's wife once, and about fucking my wife in the ass (actually I thought about that, at least briefly, every time). But what got me off more than anything else was imagining myself submitting to a big-dicked, dominant, alpha male in front of my wife, and of her and him dominating me together. I usually came with a dildo in my mouth (usually the Dream Dick), and either imagining a cock in my ass, or actually teasing my ass with a dildo (usually Vixskin Johnny).
I've decided we actually need something like 6 dildos (we have over 20). That would include 3 "suckable" dildos like the Dream Dick, and 3 silicone dildos, with one of each kind that's smaller than mine, one that's about the same size as me and one that's bigger than me. In suckables, I like the Cyber Cock (smaller), Noches Latinas 6" (about the same) and Dream Dick (bigger!). Noches Latinas 8" would also work. In dual-density silicone, Vixskin Goodfella is smaller, Vamp Softskin Elvis is about the same, and Johnny is the bigger-than-mine Alpha. I wish I'd realized this before buying a whole bunch of plastic dicks!
I hope we'll get a chance to play again this weekend!
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