Size matters - I wish I didn't mind

Yes - it's yet another post on penis size!

After years of obsessing over the size of my cock, and feeling it was too small to really excite and please my wife, I thought I'd finally gotten over it, and accepted that my cock is a good size, and that it does please her a lot. And why shouldn't I accept that? My wife has always said positive things about my cock, and so have all the women I was with before her. By even the most conservative measurement, it's above every "average" size I've seen.

But...

My wife barely reacts anymore when I put my cock in her. She barely responds when I'm fucking her, except when I pound her as hard as I possibly can. She's never had a strong orgasm with my cock inside her. I slip out of her in some positions. When I showed her larger dildos, she reacted with obvious excitement and arousal to some of them, specifically, the Cyberskin Dream Dick, the Vixskin Johnny, and most recently the Noches Latinas 8" Realistic Cock.

Noches Latinas 6" (top) and 8" Realistic Cocks

The picture above shows the difference between a cock my size and the size that turns my wife on. She's not excited at all by the Noches Latinas 6", which is almost exactly the same "insertable length" and thickness as my cock - but just holding the Noches Latinas 8" (1.25 inches longer, and almost 1 inch farther around) in her hand puts a silly grin on her face and makes her pussy "salivate". Vixskin Johnny and the Dream Dick have a similar effect on her.

But so what, right? She likes having sex with me, and wants to have sex only with me, she lets me do whatever I want, and I make her cum hard with my fingers and tongue on a regular basis. She says I'm the only person who's ever made her cum - besides herself, of course - and she even says I make her cum much harder than she's ever made herself cum. Writing this, I again at least want to believe that I've got it made, that I'm giving her all the pleasure she deserves, or at least as much as is humanly possible. What else could I possibly want?

Well, I'd like to make her cum hard with my cock inside her! That would make me feel like a real stud bull, which is how I'd like to see myself.

I had started feeling like a major stud bull a few weeks back, after starting a very exciting email conversation with a cuckold couple. Both the small-dicked "cuck" husband and the very attractive Hot Wife seemed impressed by me, and were as excited as I was about me fucking her with my big cock until I came deep inside. Although I doubted we'd ever actually get together, it was a fun fantasy to imagine fucking her with his blessing, giving her amazing pleasure with my big cock, and enjoying tremendous pleasure myself, both physical pleasure and also the dominant thrill of being recognized as sexually superior.

I traded emails with both of them, and the conversation with the Hot Wife got more and more steamy!

I had many, many satisfying orgasms thinking about this!

And then, a couple of weeks ago, I sent her a couple of pictures of myself, one of my body in casual clothes, and another of my erect cock. And then - the conversation basically died. I kept writing for a while, until it became clear from her short replies, and then her total lack of reply, that she just wasn't into me anymore. Sadness. I'm still not sure whether she was turned off by my body, or my cock, or both - or whether she simply met another prospective bull she liked better. Or something else.

Whatever, I channeled my frustration into greater sexual intensity with my wife. I suddenly wanted her more, maybe because she was again the only one in the picture. The sex was better than ever, and I felt pretty good about myself (and my cock) again.

And then I saw this: What is the ideal Penis Size for Women? It's a 5 minute podcast from the excellent sex bloggers Carlin Ross and Betty Dodson, and in it they discuss how penis size relates to female orgasm. I've watched it three times so far. The first time through, the message I got out of it is that female orgasm requires clitoral stimulation, and can be made more intense by vaginal penetration, whether that's with a penis, a dildo, or even just a finger. When it comes to enhancing a clitoral orgasm with vaginal penetration, they both agree that size doesn't matter.

But the second time, I paid more attention to what they said about vaginal orgasm, which is when a woman cums only from being fucked, without having her clit stimulated. They both said that vaginal orgasms aren't any better than clitoral ones, and that if they had to choose, they'd both choose clitoral orgasms - but they also seemed pretty excited discussing vaginal orgasms!

The thing is, they agreed that for a woman to have a purely vaginal orgasm requires 20-30 minutes of "nice, slow, sensuous fucking" - with a thick 8 inch penis! They both said that while such cocks are rare, they've both experienced sex with a guy that big. When I watched the video for the third time, I noticed more how wistful they seemed remembering that experience. Their body language largely (no pun intended) contradicted what they said about it.

In the real world, at least according to the statistics I've seen, 8" cocks are extremely rare. Something like 1 in a thousand guys actually has a dick that big. Even adjusting for the fact that guys almost always exaggerate their size, and assuming that 8" really means 7", that's still somewhere between one guy in 20 and one guy in a hundred. And yet - anyone who watches porn knows that there are many guys that big out there. And that's what women (at least my wife) seem to really want, what seems to make them melt, makes them react the way average size guys like myself can only wish women reacted to our cocks.

Yes, I realize, as Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross explain in the video, that there's a lot more than penis size involved in pleasing a woman, and that it's pretty low on the list of what women look for in a man. I also realize that having a cock that big would be rather limiting, because a woman would be sore for days after being fucked by such a monster cock. I've got to imagine anal sex would be rare, if not out of the question. I'm sure most the penis would go unstimulated during oral - forget about being deepthroated!

But still, I do wish my cock made my wife swoon the way a truly big cock does. Hell, it makes me swoon a little when I see a cock that big in pics or videos, or when I imagine seeing one in the flesh. I think if I were with a guy whose cock was that big, I'd do whatever he said! Most of all, I wish I could make my wife cum just by fucking her for 20-30 minutes the way a truly well-hung man could do it. When I imagine being together with such a man and my wife, I think I'd want him to fuck her. Just the idea of him makes me feel so submissive, I think I'd encourage such a man to fuck her, and that I'd encourage her to let him fuck her (more likely, I think she'd feel drawn to him). It just seems right, like she would deserve the pleasure of being fucked by him, and that a MAN like that would deserve to have any woman he wanted, my wife included.

Anything, you want, Sir - anything!

I wish I could be such a man. Maybe I'm totally wrong, maybe I could be such a man. Maybe I am. I enjoy seeing myself as a Bull, and I feel GREAT after I cum fantasizing about being the bigger-dicked Bull for a great cuckold couple. But if it really does take a 7-8" cock to give a woman that experience, I'm never going to be a true Bull. Which would suck, because I don't feel nearly as good - about sex, about myself, about life in general - when I don't believe I can be the strong dominant, well-hung man I want to be. I'm still not sure it really takes a cock bigger than mine to be that guy, but I'm open to the possibility that it could be true. Right now, unfortunately, it feels true.

Well, anyway, I have to work with what I've got - which includes a nice above-average cock, talented fingers and tongue, a great imagination, an adventurous wife - and a cabinet full of toys. I'm going to keep encouraging her to try the Noches Latinas 8" cock until she tries it, and I hope after she tries it, she'll let me use it on her. I could even see myself getting this harness or something like it, so that I could fuck her with it.

What worries me about this is that she'll like it too much, that she'll decide to take me up on my standing offer of letting her try (gulp) the real thing. If she decides she wants it, I'll find her a guy with a truly big cock. I know the thought excites her. I worry that she won't be able to feel my average cock anymore after trying a big one. But I'm too curious to see how she'll react to a really big cock not to follow through, if it turns out that's where she wants to go.

What I want to give her...

I really want to please her completely, and I'll do whatever it takes, even if it leaves me out in the cold. (Sigh).