Getting To Know Me

Lately, my natural dominance has awakened, and I want to dominate everybody! Everybody who wants to submit to me, anyway - and about 90% of the people I interact with lately want me to dominate them.

It's almost always that way in my life outside the bedroom, and almost always has been. I usually know what I need to do in order for me to get what I want, and I almost always do what needs to be done, and so I almost always get pretty much everything I want. I make sure people understand what I want from them, and, often after a little negotiation, they usually do what I need them to do. Sometimes it feels as if their primary purpose in life is to make sure I get what I want. Outside the bedroom, I've almost never been able to be any other way but dominant.

Sexually, things have been different.

My first sexual encounters (age 6-9) were with a boy two years older than me. He mostly wanted me to submit to him, and he was bigger and stronger and smarter than me, and I wanted to hang with him enough that I didn't mind being submissive with him, especially since anything he wanted me to do to him, he'd do to me first. Like sucking my dick, which felt really good. I liked it better when he sucked mine, but I didn't mind sucking his. I still remember the way it tasted, and what it was like to gag when he pulled my head too far down on him. With him I always tried to be more dominant, but he never let me.

Once, he and four friends of his, all of whom had air rifles, "captured" me and six other unarmed neighborhood boys and made us dig clay out of the bank of our local creek. They kept us there for a couple of hours. One "slave"tried to leave, but one of the "masters" shot him with the air rifle, which made the boy cry and go back to work. I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to get shot, so I stayed and kept working. I HATED that experience. I cried about it sometimes, but after puberty, I often thought of it when I masturbated. It turned me on to remember being a slave - and it also turned me on to imagine being a master.

We stopped playing around when I was 9 and he had reached puberty and was starting to play with girls.

The next couple of years were all about slowly realizing I was much more attracted to girls than boys. There were almost no girls in my neighborhood growing up, and I never had any chance to play the kind of games with girls that I'd played with my older friend. Girls in school were mostly annoying, or boring, but that changed as I got closer to puberty.

I realized being close to some girls faces made me feel good - and it was even more true about some girls' butts! There were several girls in school who it seemed went out of their way to put their butts right in my face. Or more likely it was the fact that I always chose a seat always right next to the pencil sharpener, or at the back of the class behind an attractive girl. At lunch, I sat right next to the water fountain outside the girls' restroom. On the bus I took an aisle seat close to the front.

I got a funny feeling when an attractive girl's butt was in my face, especially when it was close enough to feel the heat of her body through her clothes. I liked the feeling! Some of the girls in my school liked to say"kiss my butt". These were my favorite girls! I didn't know about submission then, but I get the same feeling now when I submit to my wife as I got then when a girl told me to kiss her butt, or when I carefully dropped my pencil so my face would have to almost touch the ass of the girl in front of me to pick it up.

I almost always felt submissive with girls, There were submissive girls who liked me, but I never liked them. I only liked the sassy, bossy, "kiss my butt" girls! Usually older girls. In retrospect, it's obvious these girls wanted confident, dominant guys, but at the time I had no clue. I only knew that when I tried to fool around with them, they brushed me off.

I kept trying. I knew some girls liked me and I believed I'd succeed with a girl I liked if I kept at it. I was right!

I was also attracted to a boy in my class, and I kept inviting him to sleep over. I wanted to seduce him, but I was afraid he'd reject me (and/or tell the whole school about it), and also I had no clue how to seduce him. He was also sassy and liked to dominate other boys. I was bigger, smarter and stronger than he was, but I let him win whenever we were playing a game or wrestling or whatever. I kept trying with him, too.

By the time I was 15, I'd kissed a few girls. Before I was 16, I french-kissed a girl. Before I turned 17, I gave my friend a blowjob to completion (I initiated it). Before I turned 18, I had a serious girlfriend, and we'd done everything - blowjobs, cunnilingus, anilingus - we even tried anal, even if we didn't get it right - then finally we had sex, and had sex again many, many, many times over the next two years.

She was bossy, definitely fond of saying "kiss my butt" and I liked it. I did kiss her ass pretty often. It amused the hell out of her when I jacked off and came with my face up her ass! I cheated on her, she cheated on me. I gave six more blowjobs to the same guy, and came close to having sex with another girl. I got as far as kissing with three other girls. That was before I went to college.

I must have kissed a dozen girls my first year at college, and had sex with several of them. My girlfriend and I stayed together through my first semester, but by the spring, she was getting pretty attached to the guy she'd cheated on me with. She was tired of my lack of effort in the relationship. And I really didn't give a fuck. She was hot, but I was surrounded by hot, and she was annoying.

I'd have majored in this if I could have.

I didn't realize it at the time, but part of it was that I had no interest in being submissive when so many girls wanted me to dominate them. In retrospect, I realize several boys also sent submissive signals, but I either didn't care because I didn't like them, or I didn't realize at the time they were trying to let me know they wanted to submit to me, or they wanted me to dominate them. All I wanted was to put my cock into as many hot girls as possible. Most of the girls I went for said yes, and it was all about me having my way with them. I always made them cum first with my hands and mouth if they'd let me, and then I fucked them silly.

My high school girlfriend, on the other hand, liked being sassy and dominant, which just didn't ring true anymore, in a world where I was fucking hot girls dominantly all the time. When I hooked up with my girlfriend after I went off to college, I was always dominant, telling her what I wanted, and getting it. She even learned to swallow! I always licked and fingered her until she came, and then got a blowjob, and/or fucked her. Usually both, first a blowjob, and then sex. But she was a two hour drive away, and I didn't even have a car.

On any given weekend, I had the choice between staying in town or going home to see my girlfriend. Going home meant getting a ride, which always took hours of phone calls, and wasn't always possible. Once home, I'd have to endure my parents, and would have to borrow my dad's car... It was a lot of work, although I could be sure of having sex with my girlfriend. If I stayed in town, I had almost as good a chance of hooking up with someone new, and it was as easy as walking or riding the bus to town. It was a no-brainer. 

To me, it was all about the sex. Sex was always pleasurable, and I always got the impression that the women I hooked up with enjoyed it, too. Several women told me that sex with me was better than whatever they'd had before. It made me feel powerful, competently masculine, and dominant. The feeling was intoxicating!

And then I got attached to a woman who ended up cheating on me, and the feeling just evaporated. The bottom dropped out of my confidence, and I drifted for a few years, which is a long time to drift in your 20s. I kissed a few girls, and had sex with a "kissin' cousin" (distant), but didn't fully get my masculine confidence back for almost 4 years.

I had a great relationship then with an older woman, and I was completely dominant in that relationship. She made sure I understood that was what she wanted, and then let me have my way with her. She taught me how to do anal sex correctly, and about the mature version of passion.

I was so in love with her that I dropped everything  - school, job, friends - and moved across the country to be with her. Unfortunately, she wanted to have kids, very soon, and I wasn't ready. I didn't have a proper career yet, and there were just too many adventures I wanted to have before settling down.

This was non-negotiable for both of us, so we split up, and I moved back across the country and for a short time, back to my parents house. I ran into my high school friend (with benefits) and this time, I didn't have to do more than drop a hint before he dropped his pants for a blowjob. He was now very dominant with me, and I really got into submitting to him.

I tried to hook up with several local girls, but the selection was terribly limited. For years, my only sex was giving blowjobs to my friend. We might go a couple of months without hooking up, and then hook up every night for a couple of weeks. I just jerked off afterwards, but I got powerfully horny and had an orgasm, so it was good enough, I figured. I didn't understand at the time why I had so little energy for anything but sex.

After a couple of years of this, he decided he wanted to fuck my ass. When he first suggested it, I was overwhelmed, but I quickly realized this might be my chance to "flip the script" with him, and be the dominant one. I had always fingered and tongued his ass, and I knew he enjoyed it. My last girlfriend had taught me all about anal. I tried to get my friend to let me fuck him instead! At first he considered it, then fought back. He stopped letting me finger his ass when I blew him! The thing was, I was so turned on by him that in the end, I let him win, just like back in school. I finally "surrendered" my ass to him and he fucked me good. After he fucked me, I felt different, like I'd crossed some frontier of submission, and could never be dominant again.

I was getting sex fairly often, so I didn't really care that I was always submissive, or that I wasn't getting with any women - or so I thought.

A couple of years later, I did finally get with a woman again. I realized how much more satisfied I was, not only being with a woman instead of with a guy, but also being dominant in the bedroom. Within a few months, I met the woman who is now my wife and started a long-distance relationship with her. When I started having sex with my wife, I discovered how great it felt to be in love - and also how great it felt to be dominant, and to have someone submit to me. I stopped hooking up with my friend. It felt good to be the one with control!

After we got married, I led her into dominating me, because I wanted to experience being dominated again. I also discovered that she likes to dominate, and that made me want it more. It occurs to me now that it was around the time of the financial crisis that I started buying dildos, and encouraging her to do things like slapping my face, and bossing me around, and farting in my face, and fucking me with strap-ons. Could this be because of how much I blamed myself for how badly my business suffered? I never thought much about it before, but I believe the hit I took during the Great Recession made me want to punish myself, which made me want to teach my wife to dominate me, and eventually even made me start fantasizing about her cuckolding me, and putting me in chastity.

It's probably no coincidence either that I started feeling more dominant at the same time my business finally rebounded to beyond what it was before the meltdown. But I've also realized I feel better after I cum when I'm being dominant, or thinking dominant thoughts. The more I realize how many submissives are out there, and all the different ways I can dominate, the better I feel.
 

In addition to dominating my wife, and our (now-shared) fantasy of dominating another couple, I know I can dominate guys online, and that cuckold couples want me, even as a novice Bull. It will be very interesting to see where my reawakened confidence and dominance lead me!

My dick, your wife - one of the many places this could lead.