Porn Free

I've decided not to watch porn for at least a week. That started 3 days ago. It's going much better than I'd expected!

My wife and I were on vacation last week. We were in a beautiful seaside place, but unfortunately, it rained most of the week. She decided to spend much of that time working in the hotel's business center (which means she will still have 3 of the 5 vacation days to use later). While she was doing that, I lazed in the room, dipped in the pool and hot tub, or worked out at the gym. While in the room, I caught up on the news articles I haven't had time to read lately.

On our last day there, I read an article about sex addiction, and how to tell if you are a sex addict. According to the article, obsession with penis size is a symptom, as is excessive porn watching, and also "porn escalation", that is, when you need increasingly more novel and extreme porn to get off. I'd already noticed these things in myself, but hadn't realized they were symptoms of sex addiction. Since giving up cigarettes many years ago, I've HATED even the thought of being addicted to anything.

I also read an article about a study linking porn watching to narcissism. The more porn you watch, it seems, the more narcissistic you are. Ouch. I do love myself, but I hate the thought of being obsessed with myself!

As I said, I'd noticed the "symptoms", and have been a little concerned, especially about what I consider my more dangerous fantasies. Cuckolding, mainly. I've been concerned that I might do something that would harm our marriage, such as actually convincing my wife to have sex with an Alpha Male, only to lose her to him.

So I decided to take a break from porn, and to try to bring my fantasies back to "the basics" - at least the basics for ME. I was a little worried that I wouldn't feel horny enough to want sex with my wife - but I've been glad to find that I want her AT LEAST as much as I did when I was watching a lot of porn. And I've still been masturbating, even on days when my wife and I hook up. I'm planning to go and pleasure myself after writing this entry!

Instead of porn, I've looked at pics and videos of my wife. They're not explicit. A few are of her in a bikini, or shots of her butt, but nothing overtly sexual. Most of them are close-ups of her face, looking directly into the camera. I'm finding those pics and videos arouse me just as much as hardcore porn does!

I have also continued to look at CL. Just now, I looked at a few recent posts from men looking to hook up with both a man and a woman at the same time. I daydreamed about responding to some of them, as well as to making my own post, looking for a tall guy with a big dick who'd like me to suck his dick in front of my wife (or maybe in front of HIS wife, or maybe he'd want to suck MY dick)... I think it would be better for me to stop looking at posts like this!

I've also read some cuckold erotica, which gave me the familiar mix of feelings (arousal, humiliation, shame) that I get when I look at CL, or when I look at hardcore cuckold porn. Again, I want to give this up, too.

I want my sexual desires and fantasies to be focused only on my wife, and on sex between us only. So I guess I'll try a week (starting now) with nothing but pics and video of my wife. And our collection of dildos. And her panties! And this blog!

We didn't have as much sex on our vacation as I'd have liked. Between the weather and work stresses, my wife wasn't in a sexy mood most of the week. We did have sex 3 times, and it was great all three times. The first night, I fucked her in several different positions, before finally cumming inside her in flat doggy. Two mornings later, I kissed her ass and fucked her feet, licking the cum off after I came! On our last morning there (day before yesterday), I licked her to several orgasms before cumming in her mouth in a 69 with her on top.

This morning I fucked her lazily in the spoon position. She reached back and squeezed my balls some, and then pinched my nipple and talked dirty until I came inside her. I lasted about 15 minutes, which was a surprisingly long time. As usual, she only started talking after I asked her to say cruel things! She told me she would like to see me suck another guy's dick, a tall, strong guy with a dick as big as hers (Vixskin Johnny). She said her dick (and his) made my dick look puny, like a little boy's dick! She told me to think about getting fucked hard by that guy, with my face firmly pressed up into her ass at the same time. She told me to work my "little average dick" while I thought about that. She sent me over the edge by saying she'd rip a giant fart right in my mouth, and she and the guy fucking me would laugh at me when she did it! It was a great orgasm and I must have stayed inside her for 5 minutes or more afterwards.

We didn't get a chance to play again yet. I want to dominate her this weekend - her ass will be MINE!

Right now, I'm going upstairs to fuck my fleshlight while I suck on the Dream Dick, sniff her panties, and tease my ass with a Vixskin dildo. I already laid out my well-lubed fleshlight, the Dream Dick, a pair of her recently worn panties to sniff, and the Vixskin Goodfella, Mustang, Bandit and Johnny to tease my ass with. I'm going to think about this morning, and try NOT to think about another guy fucking or making love with my wife! Wish me luck!