Lies, Damned Lies - and Penis Size

If the internet has taught us anything, it's that guys obsess about their dicks. This doesn't make guys unique. Women obsess about...well, lots of things! Over the years, my wife has wondered if-

• Her breasts were too small (No Way! Nothing beats a pair of firm 34Bs!) 
• Her ass is too big (again - no way! It's amazing, and I'd love if it was bigger)
• She should dye her hair (not necessary)
• She should shave down there (Hell No!)

...and so on. She even wondered recently if her feet were too big. No honey, I love your big huge feet!  The better to dominate me with! Haha, just kidding (I'm really glad she doesn't read this thing) !

But the way guys obsess over their dicks is different. Unlike any one part of the female anatomy, a guy's penis is often the focus of his entire sexual identity. That's how I believe it works for most guys, anyway. And it's hidden from public view. Which makes it easy to lie about. 

I've always thought that lying about penis size was a stupid move. Even if the goal was a one-night stand, I figured that if I overstated my size or abilities, the girl would be disappointed, and that would make her not much fun to be around. Hooking up with her again would be unlikely. I decided long ago, that if it a girl ever asked me about my cock, I'd be brutally honest and let her decide based on the bare facts. Let me just hook up with people who like me as I am, I thought. That'll be a lot more fun!

As it happens, the subject never came up, and I never brought it up. I can't remember ever discussing the size of my cock with any girl I ever hooked up with, at least not until after we'd hooked up many, many times. I'm thinking I've only discussed my cock in real life with 2 of my 5 serious long-term partners. Every time I got laid, or got to third base, or otherwise hooked up with a girl, the penis question just never came up. Maybe my partners all carefully evaluated me and decided my penis would be awesome, but I think it's more likely that just wasn't what they were concerned about. 

The internet has shown me that my attitude towards, em, disclosure is a little unusual. It seems like 15 guys out of 20 will claim to have a bigger dick than they actually have, 2 will be honest, and 3 will claim to be smaller than they actually are - either because their dicks are so big that people don't believe them when they tell the truth, or because they're into SPH or SPT. 

Whatever direction guys distort their dick size, I think mainly, the guys are doing it for the guys. They're just trying to impress other guys, or at the very least, to get attention. Maybe they do it for the small minority of women who put dick size high on the priority list. Or maybe lots of girls do and I just never noticed.

I think where penis size really matters to a guy is internally. His own feelings about it. If a guy feels small, or big, that can shape his entire sexual perspective and personality, for good, bad, or just weird. I think I've felt just about every way I can feel about my cock.

When I was a kid, up until I had sex, I figured my cock was average. I only saw a few other guys naked, and they all seemed to be about the same size as me.

Then my first girlfriend (a curvy, petite brunette who'd only been naked with one guy before me) thought my cock was huge, so I started thinking I had a big dick. My next girlfriend (a tall, well-built blonde who had been with a lot of guys) told me my cock wasn't the biggest she'd had. She said it was the 3rd biggest out of the 20 or so she'd seen. Even better, she said mine was her favorite. The perfect size for her, she told me. So I began believing it was above average, and really awesome. When she broke up with me for another guy, I wondered if part of it was that he had a bigger (or better) dick, even though I had absolutely no reason to think so, other than seeing that scenario in some porn films.  My next girlfriend (an even taller curvy blonde) thought my cock was wonderfully thick, and plenty long (the best she'd ever seen/felt!) , which made me feel really good about it again. My wife thought it was huge at first, and now she thinks I'm above average - but thanks largely to my own efforts, she also thinks it's a little smaller than her "ideal penis". 

Like with all my girlfriends before her (and almost all of the other women I hooked up with more casually back then) my wife's pussy was tight when we first hooked up, I had to be careful not to go too deep too fast with her, because like the others, she had to stretch to accommodate me. Not anymore, of course, She's gotten looser. When I first noticed it, I wondered if she was cheating on me with a bigger guy. That was about 3 years ago, right after I started hanging out at the Cock Size Contest site, where I signed up with my accurate cock size (slightly understated, actually) - and lost 2/3 of the cock size "challenges". I realized fairly soon that almost everybody but me on there was overstating their size, but the damage was done. I'd started believing I had a small, inadequate dick. Perversely, I found it turned me on in a submissive way to think that.

My wife's looseness reinforced the idea that my dick was small, or at least too small to satisfy her. I started suggesting she try dildos larger than my cock (we have several excellent realistic ones of various sizes), so she could know what it was like to be properly filled up. She didn't want to try them. Then I showed her some porn videos with well-endowed guys. She liked what she saw. Behind the Green Door made an impression. After seeing that, she fully bought into the idea that black guys have big dicks. And she realized my dick was not so huge compared to some of the guys in that movie. She knew there was bigger out there. And, I learned, the idea turned her on.

My size is in the middle 

I showed her lots of porn pics, other movies, and some stories, and she kept finding it arousing. I kept suggesting that she try a bigger dildo. I encouraged her to say mean things about my cock, to say it was small and didn't satisfy her. That she wanted to try bigger. It was arousing in a submissive way to lead her in that direction, but on balance I think I wish I hadn't.

She gave in a couple of weeks ago, and tried the Cyberskin Dream Dick (7" long, 6" around). She fucked herself with it while I licked her ass. She seemed to enjoy it a lot, but later said it didn't actually feel good to her. It hurt. She says she doesn't want to try it, or any other dildo again. She knows the idea of her getting fucked by a bigger dildo turns me on, and I think she would try it again if I encouraged her to. Maybe she'd learn to like it. Maybe she'd end up like it better than she likes my cock.

She thinks a bigger real cock might feel better, but she's not sure, She says she's curious to know. It turns her on to think about it. Me, too. So far, it's just fantasy - and really, I hope it always will be. I've told her she can try a bigger guy if she wants. I'll even find the guy for her, or she can find him herself. All I ask is that she's 100% open about with me it (ideally I'd be there, and I'd participate). I consider myself lucky that she doesn't want to hook up with anyone but me. I'll be very happy if she never does. I'd probably feel awful if she did. I would definitely feel awful if she liked the other guy better than me. 

Writing this, I realized that my feelings about my cock have always been shaped by my partners' feelings about it. I guess that's natural since I thought it was average to begin with, and since I have a cock that's within one standard deviation of pretty much every generally-accepted figures for average penis size, both in length and width. On the high end of the standard deviation, for what it's worth! I guess I've mirrored my partners' feelings about my cock mainly because they were the ones who experienced it inside themselves. Each serious girlfriend I've ever has said she liked my cock, and seemed to be telling the truth.

I want to accept that mine is a "good cock" and stop obsessing. Easier said than done, but it's the most logical, fact-based conclusion. I find that the more I accept it, the better I feel. I know the illogical small penis fantasy I had wasn't making anybody happy, least of all me.

I think Ernest Hemingway was kind of a douche, but I like this thing he said: 

“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”

If you change "moral" to "good for you" and "immoral" to "bad for you", that's exactly how I know whether I'm on the right track with things in my life. And believing my dick is small makes me feel bad. After. As in, after orgasm. Before, I can get excited thinking about how small my dick is, that guys with bigger dicks are superior to me, and about how more my wife would enjoy a bigger dick than she likes mine. But when I cum thinking about these or other similar things, I feel terrible after. Some times over the past 3 years, when I could only get turned on thinking about small-dick fantasies, I felt so bad that I started not getting aroused nearly as much as I had before. This, too, I put down to being inferior, and having a small dick. Which kept the cycle going. 

I didn't even realize it, until one day just over a year ago, it turned me on to imagine I was the guy with the big dick in one of the sadistic cock-size-focused stories I was reading. The story was illustrated, and the dominant guy looked like me, and had a cock just like mine, while the submissive guy had a much smaller one. So I tried identifying with the big-dicked guy, and it was a turn-on to imagine another guy submitting to me, giving me head whenever I wanted (with deepthroating and swallowing), encouraging me to fuck his hot wife, and allowing me to dominate him, humiliate him in lots of ways, and to put him into permanent chastity slavery,

Not a pic from the story, but the same general idea.

At first, this fantasy didn't turn me on as much as my submissive fantasies. But it did feel much better after I came. I found the more I came thinking dominant thoughts, the more being dominant turned me on. 

I thought it might be fun to try something like that online, so I created a profile on a kinky hookup site, and found there were LOTS of guys with smaller dicks than mine wanting to submit to me. I dominated a couple of guys pretty harshly! For several weeks, I "controlled" one guy's orgasms, only "allowing" him to cum when I said it was OK. I "made" another guy tell me everything about his sex life with his wife, and under my direction, he became more and more submissive to her.

Mainly, I put them in their place. Which they loved. Dominating those guys was a huge turn-on for me! For them too, obviously. For me, it was also an ego boost. It mitigated, at least somewhat, the feelings of smallness I got from teaching my wife to believe, and tell me, that I'm small. I just reactivated the profile this afternoon, by the way, and have already had several responses from wanna-be subs! 

I still have submissive fantasies, and they still turn me on. But I feel better - after - when I think dominant thoughts. More and more lately, dominant thoughts are what get me off the most before and during also.

Just in the last month, I've been exploring cuckolding - as the Bull. This feels incredibly good. It feels...right. It's a giant turn on, before, during and after. So far, it's just fantasy, but I can easily imagine doing it for real. I have every reason to believe it would feel just as good in real life (before, during and after), too. The only question is how it would affect my wife. Officially, I have the green light. I can do whatever I want, with whomever I want. She just wants me to keep her out of it, and not to tell her anything about it, ever. And above all, she wants me to love her just as much. I'm not sure how she'd feel about it after. I guess if she doesn't know, it won't matter (who am I kidding; she'll know). I know I would love her just as much. I think I might even feel it more than I do now. I've felt it more just thinking about it.

Since I started having more dominant than submissive fantasies again, I've come back to believing that I have a good cock. I've talked to my wife about my cock in a reality-based way for the past month, I showed her some amateur porn, and she's seen that guys in amateur porn have dicks smaller than mine more often than not. She understands why professional porn actors have unusually large cocks, and how that skews the perception of "normal" dick size, very similarly to how women's fashion creates unrealistic (and unhealthy) expectations of beauty. 

She says she thinks my cock is big, that she's always believed that, even when I wanted her to tell me it was small. She said she never liked calling it small. She says even in mainstream porn, my dick wouldn't be considered small, just not huge. She says huge cocks are "gross". I am lucky!

I still wish my cock were bigger sometimes, but less often now than before. The more I reflect on my actual life experiences, rather than online fantasy, the better I feel about my cock. The better I feel about my cock, the better I feel overall. Especially after. 

The awesome Steve over at Love Small Penis writes about this stuff all the time, and his most recent post is what got me thinking about this.

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And now for something completely different.

My wife dominated me last night - and it was good! It was her turn. I'll dominate her next time; that's how we roll. I thought about being rebellious at first last night, but she had great attitude and energy, and directed almost all of the action, so I just submitted. It was fun!

First, she wanted to whip me, and she was more aggressive about it than usual! She used her sweet little 3-foot single tail several times on my ass. Hard! Then she told me to bend over, and when I did she hit my ass with the leather side of her two-sided, paddle-shaped slapper. My balls were sticking out, and she hit them a few times with the slapper's faux fur side. Not too hard, but I liked it. She kicked my balls, too! It would be more accurate to say she kicked at my balls, as she never really connected (probably a good thing).

Then, she "ordered" me to give her a full-body oil massage, which lasted about 45 minutes. Then she told me to make her cum. I used my hands and mouth, first all over her body, then I concentrated on the key areas and gave her a number of strong orgasms (5?), including a full-body clencher. I thought she was going to rip a hole in my face with her fingernails!

Then, after 10 minutes or so of "cool-down", she told me to tie my balls. I did. She wanted to whip me some more, this time concentrating on my back. I moaned and gasped until she told me to shut up, and then I took it like a man.

Then she asked for "her big beautiful dick" so she could fuck me! I gave her Vixskin Johnny in our favorite strap-on harness, Kinklab's prosaically named "Adjustable Strap-On Dildo Harness". I helped her get it on, then asked her to choose a "boyfriend" for me to service orally; she picked the Cyberskin Perfect Pecker, which is dark brown and rather thick (6.3" around) with a challenging 6.25" length. I can deepthroat it, with effort, but I'm out of practice.

Her dick is, like my wife's dick, bigger than mine!

She ordered me to bend over the edge of the bed, but I dared ask her if I could please suck her beautiful cock (the one she was wearing) first? She looked down at me and told me: "Suck my DICK, bitch!" I gave her some great dildo head. All the way down to the balls with my chin pressing on her "nuts". She said I was a great dick sucker. She said she was going to have me suck her "boyfriend's" cock every day! I put her hands on the back of my head, and grabbed her hips, pulling and pushing her to show her how I wanted her to fuck my face. She fucked my face really well! She started going really deep, using her hands to "make me" take all of her big cock. After a short while, when her cock was all the way in my throat, with my chin pressing into her balls, she held my head down and fucked my throat with hard, short thrusts for several seconds until I gagged!

She told me it was time to get fucked. I put some lube on my ass (I'd prepared myself just before we began playing) and on her cock. I lubed up my Fleshlight Flight and put my rock-hard cock inside. I bent over the bed with my ass sticking out. My cock felt great in the Fleshlight. I moved it back and forth a few times, in what I hoped was a seductive manner. Soon, I felt her sliding her cock up and down my ass crack, and then I felt Johnny's big head pressing against my ass, and then I felt it start to go inside...it hurt! I asked her to pull out for 30 seconds or so, and asked her if she wanted so watch me suck cock while she waited. Yes! She said she liked watching me suck a big black cock.

Now she was able to slowly push her big dick into me, and then to push her full length in, until I felt her (aka Johnny's) balls on my ass cheeks! I said, "Goddess, your cock is HUGE! Fuck me! Make me your bitch forever!" I don't know where these thoughts came from, or why I felt compelled to blurt them out, but it turned me that part of me wanted to say them so passionately. She seemed amused! She started fucking me pretty hard. I should have stopped her. I wasn't ready to be fucked that hard!

I should have used more lube!!

But it felt SO good to have big cock inside me, especially with my sexy, fiery wife on the other end of it. I pushed back onto her thick 7" cock, moving my own 6.5" medium thick cock inside the Flight. She slapped my ass a couple of times and spat out the word "Bitch" into my ear. I felt like I was going to cum right away.

She leaned forward, and I felt her big nipples, and her breasts pressing into my back. I had just put my mouth back on the big brown cock, and she had taken me by the hair and pushed my head down onto the cock, then pulled my head back up when I was close to the bottom - and close to gagging. She pushed and pulled my head up and down a few more times in the rhythm she wanted. She told me to "make him cum in your bitch mouth".

I felt like I was going to cum...and then I realized I had just cum. I was still cumming. What the?! I could feel myself spurting inside the Flight, but the usual orgasmic pleasure just wasn't there! This was new to me. Maybe it was because my balls were tied? Anyway, I concentrated hard on my spurting cock, and did feel the orgasm somewhat, though not as much as usual. On a physical pleasure scale of 1 to 10, it was like a 2 or maybe a 1. It felt like peeing feels, but with thicker fluid. Maybe that's a prostate orgasm. I never had one like it before, and if I never have another one like it again, that'll be fine. I'd been expecting something like an 7, 8 or a 9, which is more typical.

Maybe it was the lube.

Or maybe the dick was just too big to feel really good. Too long and pokey. The thickness was fine. Next time, I think I'll have her fuck me with Softskin Elvis (Vamp Silicone), which is 1/4 inch shorter than mine, and almost exactly the same thickness (Elvis's head is a 1/4 less thick than mine). And it's got 360° balls that sit outside the harness. They feel good on my ass cheeks when my wife fucks me with it..

We've only used it two or three times. I loved it, but she didn't like it as much as she likes Johnny. I think she doesn't like the aesthetic: it's jet black, which she used to like, but now she prefers realistic. I remember she had a hard time keeping Elvis in me the first time. She's much more skilled at fucking now, though. On a par with me, I'd say, but not as much stamina. She doesn't need much usually. I usually cum in the first 5 or 10 minutes. If I recall correctly, I had a good (6/10) anal orgasm with Elvis both times I remember us using it. (I blogged about in` 2010).

Or we could use Vixskin Mustang, which is 6.5" long and 4.75" around (roughly the same size as the one guy I hooked up with repeatedly. I don't think she's ever pegged me with Mustang, but it was my favorite for solo play. If she uses that, I'll be the Big Dick in the family again. Yeah, maybe I'll have her use Mustang!

Although I didn't feel as great as I have before in sessions like this one, I was excited - electrified - about the overall experience. We hugged and kissed afterwards, and she assured me that she loved me and only me, and would never have another lover  besides me. She said I make her so happy she could never even seriously consider it.

Today, I felt OK, but not exactly great about the session. She gave me a blowjob this morning, which did help a lot! We both slept naked and I woke up with my morning wood pressed against her ass. I started moving it, which felt good, and soon she was awake. She put her hand on my cock and stroked. I touched her breasts, stomach, arms and legs, kissed her lips, neck and nipples. She moved down my body and started sucking. I came, hard, in about 10 minutes. I was a little disappointed I came before she could turn the blowjob into a 69. But it was still good.

Next time we play, it'll be my turn to dominate her, and I'm going to give it to her good! I'm thinking some bondage, maybe a blindfold. Definitely some spanking. Maybe I'll let her choose the "tool", by the sound it makes swishing through the air, or slapping on the bed, while she's blindfolded. Last time we did it that way, she picked a rattan cane! Of all our pain toys, that's the very harshest. I didn't cane her very hard, although it did leave some marks that were still there when we finished the session. She liked it! Of course, I'm going to fuck her ass, hard, for a long time. Or maybe I'll have her swallow. Or maybe both!!

What I really want at this moment is to put my cock inside her and fuck her good thinking dominant thoughts until I cum.

This!

Maybe in the morning - wish me luck!

Who's in charge here?

When I was 25, I played a one-on-one paintball game with a guy. I wouldn't quite call him a friend, more of an acquaintance. As we were suiting up, and double-checking our guns, he said some funny things.

He said he liked medieval and Roman history, and that he thought the practice of taking slaves as victory "booty" was a great idea that he wished that was still the custom today. He said that it was only right for the loser to become the property of the victor, and to have to do anything the victor wanted him to do - even sex, or whatever. At the time I thought his comments were just weird, that he was some kind of history geek or something.

This is what he wanted - maybe I should have given it to him!

I had only played paintball a few times; he said he had played it many, many times and was very good. It was his idea to play.

We played for a couple of hours. I "killed" him 5 times! He only even hit me once, and that was a glancing shot on my left shoulder, just a small yellow spot on my green fatigues. He had red paint all over his front, especially on the chest! I hadn't meant to, but apparently I also shot him a time or two in the crotch! I pointed it out to him and he said, "Yeah - what's that all about?!" He smirked when he said it, as if it was a private joke between us and both of us knew what it meant.

As we changed back into "civilian" clothes, he reminded me that if this was Roman or medieval times, he'd be my slave now. I laughed, and he joined in. He said, "Seriously, if I was your slave right now, what would you make me do?"

I jokingly said, "Pushups!" He dropped and did a bunch of pushups! He asked if there was anything else I wanted him to do, and I said no, with a laugh. It all just seemed silly to me, and slightly embarrassing.

What's funny is that I didn't realize what he really wanted to happen until a couple of months ago. I was reading my old journal, where I'd written about the experience, and it suddenly occurred to me that this guy wanted me to dominate him sexually! Seems obvious in retrospect, but at the time it just didn't occur to me.

I think the main reason I didn't get his submissive hints was that he simply didn't turn me on. I hardly ever find a guy attractive anyway, maybe one or two guys in a hundred, but I also didn't like him much as a friend. He was taller and fitter than me - and richer - and he was just too nice, always being deferential, never cursing, always smiling, never seeming real.

Also, I think, it didn't occur to me because in my kinky fantasies, and I think a lot of other people's as well, the taller, fitter guy would have to be the Dom, not the sub. Just as I believed the guy with the bigger dick had to be the Dom, and the guy with the smaller dick had to be the sub. And the taller, fitter guy would always have the bigger dick. That's the way I believed it worked.

Between men and women, it was a little more complicated, but basically, I believed the more attractive, more confident person would always be in charge. I believed this mainly because of how badly my last girlfriend had hurt me. She was tall, beautiful, really nicely built, blonde haired and blue eyed -  the most confident woman I'd ever known. She knew what she wanted in life, from work, family, and even hobbies, and was working towards all of it with seemingly boundless energy. She was 2 years older than me.

We had an exciting relationship with lots of great sex for the first few months, long enough for me to decide I wanted this forever - and for her to decide she was ready to move on. I think she found my complacent satisfaction really boring, and she met a guy taller, more muscular, and (I imagined) better-hung than me. I noticed that she talked about him a lot, but I never guessed that she'd hook up with him, much less end our relationship to be with him.

I had never been so hurt in my life. I was so attracted to her that I didn't notice that her feelings for me had changed. I had noticed we were having less sex, and that she didn't seem as glad to see me at the end of the day, but I put that down to stress from her work.

I'd always had a kinky side, and I'd always been equally into being the dominant or being the submissive in my fantasies. Both turned me on in different ways. But now, after being dumped, I started feeling very low, and only submissive fantasies turned me on, mainly kissing female ass and being cheated on. The other guy didn't figure in my fantasies at that time. Any time I thought of him, I daydreamed about "revenge", like stealing his girlfriend (my one consolation for being dumped was that he almost immediately dumped my (ex-) girlfriend for another girl!), or getting in a fight with him and beating the crap out of him.  It was especially satisfying to think about him getting kicked in the balls!

I'd have liked to see this happen to that guy!

From then on, when I thought of dominance and submission, it always had a certain logic to it. I believed that all tall women, and all attractive women, were dominant. Guys with bigger dicks were always dominant, I believed, and guys with smaller dicks were always submissive. The taller, more muscular guy had to be dominant. Taller, more muscular guys always had bigger dicks. These things seemed obvious,

After a long time on my own, I met a sexy woman and ended up almost marrying her (she wanted kids but I wasn't willing to have kids yet). She was tall, and blonde haired / blue eyed. But she wasn't confident, or aggressive, or dominant in any way. She encouraged ME to be dominant, and she introduced me to giving her anal sex in a dominant way. The more she wanted me to be dominant, the more I wanted to be dominant.

I had to rethink things a little, I started believing that confidence and aggressiveness, combined of course with the desire to dominate, were what made a dominant a dominant, not attractiveness or height or whatever.

Not long after she split up with me, I hooked up again with my best friend from high school, the one guy I had ever hooked up with, His dick was smaller than mine (not much shorter, but much significantly thinner than mine), and his balls were very small compared to mine. I also had a much better job, and education, than he did. I was more muscular, but he was slightly taller - and more than anything else he was just more sexually confident and aggressive. When I went to see him, armed with porno mags (just like when I'd "seduced" him in high school), he knew I wanted to sexually submit to him. He liked it. He took full advantage over the next few years, demanding lots of blowjobs (which I was always more than happy to give) and eventually even persuading me to let him fuck me, something I'd never even imagined. I resisted for months, and tried to get him to let me fuck him instead, but I finally gave in because I ended up overpowered - by my desire to submit to him.

After that experience, my understanding of submission and domination was more nuanced. I still believed that dominance was tied to confidence and aggressiveness, but I realized that submission could also be aggressive and confident in a way: after all, I'd seduced him into dominating me. Originally, he'd submitted to my desire for him to dominate me. If I hadn't started something, nothing would have happened. I had been a little afraid he might reject me, but I went for it anyway. Once I started it, he picked it up and ran with it, which was amazing.

With my wife, I led her both to dominating me, and to submitting to me.. My wife enjoys dominating, but she has almost never initiated it. She enjoys being dominated, too, but has hardly ever asked me to do that, either. Even while we're in a middle of session where she's supposed to be in charge, most of what happens is what I want to happen. I do love when she takes charge, but usually, I'm driving from the bottom - or driving from the top. Perhaps the most awesome thing of all the awesome things I could say about my wife, is that she almost always says, "Yes!" to whatever I propose, whether it's for me to submit to her, or dominate her. When she does say no, it's not actually "no", it's "not now". I always get what I want! 

So who then, is the dominant, and who's the submissive in this relationship?

I think the answer is that we both are dominant, and both submissive, because that's who and what we are - and also because that's what I want. I'm the more assertive, persuasive partner, and whatever I want usually ends up happening. I believe dominance and submission are separate from assertiveness and persuasion. I think thee are a lot of Dom/Sub relationships where the Sub drives pretty much everything that happens, but where the Dom is always in the dominant role.

I believe our desire for submission and/or dominance is, like sexual orientation, a more-or-less fixed part of us. Maybe that's true for leading and following, too.

Being attracted to both females and males, and being pretty much equally into both dominating and being dominated, I believe I have a unique perspective on this, I think both sexual orientation and desire for submission and/or domination, are on a continuum. There's the Kinsey Scale for sexual orientation. I'm a 2, which means I'm much more attracted to women, but I'm "more than incidentally" attracted to guys. I'm attracted to maybe 20-25 percent of women I meet, but only about 1 or 2 percent of guys, and even when I am attracted to a guy, I don't want the emotional intimacy, or kissing, or any other affectionate stuff - just to give, and maybe receive (if the guy's submissive), sexual gratification. Other people are more attracted to their own gender than I am, and some people are even less into same sex sex than I am (or not at all). Take your own Kinsey Scale test here: http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/.

Likewise, some people are more (or entirely) dominant, or submissive than me. Or neither submissive nor dominant. There's no rating scale as far as I know, but I believe there is a spectrum very much the same way there is for sexual orientation.

I believe we're the way we are because we're "wired" that way. Women, too. I tend to believe women are typically more flexible in their orientations than men, but then again, in my experience it always depends on the individual.

Penis size is somehow connected to all this. Maybe not for everybody, but definitely for me, and I believe for lots of other guys , too. Personally, I believe my cock is normal, average, medium. Maybe a little above average in length and thickness. There are plenty of guys with bigger cocks than mine (although I've never seen a bigger one in real life), and many more guys with dicks smaller than mine. I feel generally submissive towards guys with bigger dicks than mine, and sometimes I feel a strong desire to indulge that submissiveness. I've been taunted and teased by guys with bigger dicks (or at least they claimed to have bigger - this was online) - and I loved it.

I always want to dominate guys with smaller dicks. It especially turns me on when they want to submit to me. I've had a few small-dick online "slaves" and "worshipers" over the past couple of years and it's a huge turn-on. I'd love to act out the fantasies I shared with those guys, abusing and being submissively pleasured by them. The only thing better would be to fuck a small-dick guy's wife! I love the idea of totally satisfying her, making her scream and cum like she's never done before, and then having her tell her little dick cuck husband all about it. Or fucking her like a stallion in front of him. Mmmmm.

I believe this is another spectrum, with some guys believing they have little dicks, and that their small penis size makes them inferior to better-endowed men, and some men believing that they have big dicks, which (they believe) make them superior to smaller-dicked guys. And I'm sure some other men must be like me: in the middle. And I'll bet lots of guys don't buy into the big dick = better concept at all.

Now I'm thinking my paintball buddy well may have had a little dick and a desire to submit to a bigger guy. Rumor had it was gay, or at least bi. He was definitely submissive - assertively submissive. I wish I could have a do-over. If that incident happened again today, I would have taken him home and had some fun with him. I'm pretty sure that guy have gone home with a stomach full of my sperm!


No sex today. It was a welcome break, although I did touch myself more than a little. The thought of a shapely female ass right in front of me turned me on more than anything else. I had the house to myself for a short while today, and manged to get a fairly good cock selfie (I guess). I was almost fully hard when I clicked the shutter. I may play around with it some more the next chance I get. I mean, play around with the photo. I will definitely play around with my cock!

I could stay here all day...

What do you think? Who drives things in your relationship? Who's dominant, and who's submissive?

Do you think submission and domination are "hard-wired"?

What role does dick size play in all this for you?

Did you ever pass up the chance to dominate (or be dominated)?

Distractions...I hate 'em

How hard is to get a picture of my own hard dick? Harder than I remembered! I did it once, about 6 years ago. Shouldn't have deleted the pic! I noticed then that having to shift my attention from sex to photography was de-arousing. I'd never noticed it before, but at the time, I realized that had to stay focused on sex - and sex only - to maintain my erection.

This guy looks way better than me! Bigger dick, too. From Nude Man Blog

I'd never noticed about focus before because I never want to shift my focus away from sex, especially when I'm having it, and I almost never have to shift my attention to anything other than sex. Even if I'm by myself, what happens is I get horny, I start touching myself, and then I keep touching myself until I cum. Then I enjoy the pleasure and "afterglow" of orgasm as long as I can, sometimes 10 minutes or more. Only then do I stop thinking about sex. So my cock gets hard, and stays hard the whole time.

But when I'm trying to take a cock selfie, I have to think about sex long enough to get hard, and then somehow stay hard long enough to get the camera, frame the shot, and capture it. None of the camera stuff is arousing. I managed to get a good pic 6 years ago with my old camera. But it took a while! I think I used a timer finally. I'll have to try that, tomorrow if I get a chance.

That's about the size of my cock. My body's not as good, and I've got hair and no tattoos. Again from Naked Man Blog.

My wife and I have had some great sex the last couple of days! Yesterday morning, we started Christmas with some GREAT vanilla sex. Well, there was some kinky talk, but everything we actually did fits the definition of vanilla. I kissed her, I touched her all over, and then all under, and then she started stroking my cock. I talked dirty to her for awhile, about her hooking up with a guy whose dick is bigger than mine. That didn't turn her on, until she suggested, and I agreed, that instead of her, it should be ME sucking the guy's big dick. She said she'd like that, or for him to fuck me. She liked the idea of him fucking me while I fucked her, or him fucking me while I gave her head, or me giving him head while she gave me head - all of that got her very wet. She said the next time she dominates me, she's going to fuck me. And make me suck a big dick. And whip me. She was very horny now, so I went down on her for about half an hour, until she made me stop. For the next 10 minutes, I lay beside her, sucking her right nipple and softly running my hands around her body, touching all the spots she likes to be touched after cumming, in the ways I know she likes me to touch them.

Then she wanted to suck my cock. I wanted to be inside her, but I will never turn down head! I let her suck it for maybe 5 minutes. It was great. As always, my cock looked huge between her lips, and she couldn't get more than about 4 or 5 inches of me into her mouth. She started stroking my cock with one hand moving up and down my shaft along with her mouth, and the other hand cupping my balls. I took her hand off my cock and put it on my balls, so she could take one in each hand. That felt really good. I started to just let her suck me off, but I wanted to be inside her, so I pulled her off me and led her onto her back.

As I teased her wet pussy with the head of my very hard cock, I looked into her eyes and asked her if it turned her on to imagine me doing this to another guy's wife. She admitted the fantasy turned her on! She asked me if I meant the 6'3" guy with the 4" dick. I said Yes. I asked her how she felt about me fucking that guy's wife like I was about to fuck her. She said it was hot, that she liked that I had enough sex drive for two women. She asked if the husband would suck my cock, or if I'd fuck him. She said that really turned her on! And from how wet her pussy had gotten, and the way her hands kept moving back and forth between her nipples and her sex, I knew she meant it. I asked if she'd like it if the guy was in chastity when he submitted to my superior cock. She said that would be even hotter!

I agreed it was hot, but I told her that what the guy, and his wife, really wanted was for me to fuck his wife, preferably in front of him. I asked her to pretend that this was the first time, that she was the Hot Wife. She liked it! I put the had of my hard cock at her entrance, and pushed myself inside her. It was clear that she felt me, and liked what she was feeling. I eased myself in deeper and deeper. When I was all the way inside her, I told her to squeeze my big cock. I started in a slow rhythm, and kept up the dirty talk. I asked her if I was bigger than her husband. She said YES! I asked if my bigger cock felt better than his little dick, and she said "Oh my god, yes!" I asked her if she wanted me to fuck her hard with my big dick. She said Yes!

I spread her legs as wide as she was comfortable with, and managed to go in even a little deeper. She has clearly been working on her kegels lately! She felt really tight, which made me feel HUGE. Thick, anyway. I still couldn't reach the "bottom" of her pussy. But it felt great, having all of my cock inside her wet, tight pussy. staring into her eyes and imagining I was staring into the Hot Wife's eyes for the first time. I started going faster, and mixing in harder, rougher thrusts. She responded favorably! I kept that up for awhile. Her legs got tired. She needed to stop and change positions. She brought her legs together, and I straddled her, but I couldn't get as far into her in that position, so we tried legs on shoulders. That was better, but not as good as full-spread missionary, so we went back to that.

I told her to wrap her legs around my waist, and I asked her if she wanted me to fuck her harder. Yes! As I kept fucking her, and she kept squeezing my cock from inside, I felt like I was deeper inside her than I've been in a long time. Years. I imagined how a gorgeous Hottie who had only had a 4" dick inside her for 15 years would react to this. Watching my wife's intense, but somewhat muted, bliss made it easy to imagine the Hot Wife going crazy from this!

I took one hand and roamed urgently around my wife's body, imagining it was the Hot Wife's stomach chest and throat I was stimulating. I closed my eyes, and saw the Hot Wife's beautiful face, and I pushed myself even deeper into my wife - and to my amazement, I felt her cervix with the tip of my cock! I couldn't quite believe it, so I did it again! Wow. I slowed down, eyes still closed, still seeing the Hot Wife's face, and I concentrated on angling myself just right so that I could keep reaching the far end of my wife's wonderful pussy. I tried to press up into her top wall as much as possible as I pulled back, and then to do the same on the way back in. I was going really slow now. I realized I was on the very edge of cumming. I thrust back in very slowly, and started cumming when I was all the way in. I came, and came, and came.

I stayed inside for 30 seconds or so. I would have stayed in longer, but my wife's legs were sore! That was the best start to Christmas. Ever.

In the evening, I was very aroused again. She gave me a long, slow, lazy blowjob. I was a little concerned she might fall asleep with my cock in her mouth (wouldn't be the first time!), but she stayed awake long enough to get the job done. I kept thinking about the morning, and about the gorgeous Hottie, and about my wife dominating me later this weekend. When I came, it was really satisfying! I hoped she might swallow, but instead she bumbled off sleepily to spit and brush. Oh well.

This morning, I'd hoped we'd have time to hook up again, but she needed to sleep. She woke up with about 15 minutes to spare before her first work meeting (she worked from home all week) and when I kissed her and started caressing her shoulders, she said she was too sore for sex, but I could kiss her ass if I wanted to. I wanted to! She rolled away, and I put my cock between her feet and kissed her ass all over, and then went between her lovely cheeks. I almost expected her to fart, given the huge meals we had on Christmas, but instead I kept fucking her feet and thinking about her shaking her ass, about her farting right in my face, about her wearing a strap-on, about her thoughtfully choosing a dildo and making me suck it while she watched, about her wearing her favorite (fake) leather "dominatrix" skirt and open-cup bra as she did those things, about her whipping me, and finally about her fucking me. I could actually feel her big "cock" (Vixskin Johnny) in my mouth and ass!

With my face up in her ass, licking and sucking, I came back to thinking about her shaking her ass in my face, sitting on my face and "dancing" and bouncing. She got my balls between her feet, and the head of my cock rubbed against the sole of her foot as I thrust. I remembered yesterday's sex and blowjob and I went right over the edge as soon as I remembered cumming all the way inside my wife, while seeing the beautiful face of the Hot Wife in my mind. I made a mess on my wife's feet, which I wiped off with a tissue.

This evening, we had a good workout with weights, and she was too tired to even think about sex.

Maybe she's going to dominate me this weekend. It's "her turn", and I think it'll be fun. I'll definitely be more rebellious than usual!

Since my wife had to work today, I did some work, too. I ended up having to deal with an annoying situation. Ugh. I miss the days when almost no one had to work between Christmas and New Year's. Anyway, that's boring.

I tried several times to get a good cock selfie today. I got hard every time my mind wandered to a certain Hot Wife and stayed there for more than a few seconds.. I keep running off to the bedroom with hard cock, camera and ruler in hand. I would turn on the camera, put the ruler on my cock (maybe a metal ruler isn't the best idea - it's cold) focus the camera on my cock, and...every time I got to that point, I was already starting to shrink. My cock is Very Nice when it's at its best. I still find looking at my hard cock arousing. But when it's anything less than rock solid, which it fortunately never is when I'm having sex (I guess I should knock on wood, no pun intended), it seems small and unimpressive to me. If I had the house to myself, I could have watched porn in the bedroom or something, but I didn't feel comfortable doing that with my wife just down the hall in her office.

Well, tomorrow is another day, full of promise and wonder.

I'd be happy with this. Nice and hard. Not me, but fairly close. 

Truth is sexier than fiction (Bull in a china shop, part 2)

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Bull in a china shop

Since last week, I've felt like Mr Tall, Dark and Hung-some in the pic above. It's a good way to feel! If the picture were accurate, my wife (far left) would have smaller tits and be half a head shorter than the blonde Hottie, and the cuck would be half a head taller than me, and he'd be just as happy as the rest of us. And my dick's cut.

My cock actually looks, feels, and seems bigger to me than it did 2 weeks ago. It's like a switch has been flipped inside my libido. Being dominant turns me on, and it turns my wife on, too. That's almost always true for us, but I'm usually also turned on by being submissive. Not now. It will be interesting when my wife dominates me this week or this weekend! It's her turn, and I'm looking forward to it. I think I'll be a difficult, controlling sub if she doesn't find a way to stop me! Maybe I'll flip the script, and dominate her instead...and then also dominate her again when it's "my turn" in our next session.

This morning, while my wife gave me oral, I imagined what it would be like to be deepthroated repeatedly and to have my cum swallowed. If I've ever been deepthroated, it was by my wife several years ago, and it was brief. I've had my cum swallowed only a handful of times in my whole life. My wife has swallowed twice, but she didn't enjoy it. She gives good head, and likes letting me cum in her mouth every time, and lets me stay there until I've completely finished orgasming (or at least for 30-60 seconds), but I love the idea of getting better head (my beautiful cock and I deserve it!), and especially the idea of being throated repeatedly by someone who gets off on it, and then having my cum swallowed by someone who loves to swallow (I eat a diet that's supposed to make my cum taste good. It tastes good to me, and my wife says it tastes good to her). The idea of a hot wife throating my cock and then swallowing my cum is really hot. It's hot if her little-dicked husband isn't there, and it's at least as hot if he is there.

What turns me on even more is the thought of pleasing her. I can give her good head, but I imagine her husband does that for her as much as she wants. I definitely want to explore her body. I know I'll get her very aroused with my hands and mouth all over her body. I'm sure I'll get aroused, too. I'm already rock hard just at the thought of it! I don't think I'd want to french kiss her, though. I think the only person I should kiss like that should be my wife. Maybe the cuckold couple feels the same. 

I absolutely must put my big cock inside her tight, hungry pussy and fuck her like the stud bull I am! The way such a beautiful, sexy woman deserves to be fucked. A good, deep, hard, intense sexual connection, lasting as long as she wants, or if it's just too hot for me to last that long, as many times as she wants. I'd love to have her multiple times in the space of a couple of days, or even more over a few days. I want to wear her out, and make us both blissed out and sore! 

I feel a primal desire to make her cum, and to cum inside her, hard and deep, as many times as possible. It's beautiful that the cuckold, and his wife, and  my wife will all want this to happen. We'll all get off on it, and be closer to our life partners because of it. 

This morning, I asked my wife to look me in the eye and tell me how she felt about sucking my cock. With her big, dark eyes full of sincere lust, and my cock looking huge between her full lips, she said she loves sucking my big cock! I closed my eyes and imagined a tall, built, gorgeous blonde Hot Wife was sucking me with even more enthusiasm and was even more turned on (when my wife turned around into a 69, she was seriously wet!). I imagined the Hot Wife deepthroating me repeatedly, and that it was taking some effort for her, but she wanted to do it so much that she was able to do it with style. I imagined that when I came, she would swallow with great pleasure, without any discussion, because it turned her on to swallow. 

I imagined that I'd already spent a good bit of time with her and her husband outside the bedroom, and that we liked each other a lot, with everybody so turned on we could hardly stand it, until finally, I took the hot wife off to bed. And it was even better than we'd imagined it would be!

I came in my wife's mouth and she kept her mouth on my cock until I completely finished cumming. I kept licking her clit the whole time, enjoying everything about everything. She broke the spell by getting off me and running off to spit and immediately brush her teeth. Well, at least her ass looked cute as it jiggled out of the room! 

I closed my eyes and imagined I'd just cum inside the Hot Wife. Again. She was beside me in the bed, still catching her breath in post-orgasmic bliss. Our bodies were pressed together. Moving apart was unimaginable. We looked at each other, and immediately felt the need to please each other again. I thought about the several times I'd cum inside my wife in the past few days, and imagined how I would feel if I'd cum inside the gorgeous tall, blonde Hottie all those times. Thinking about it prolonged the blissful, orgasmic afterglow. I hated having to open my eyes and get on with the realities of a workday. 

All day, the memory of the morning shined on me like the tropical sun, bathing me in the warmth of perfect fulfillment, combined with the anticipation of exploring the gorgeous, wonderful Hottie further, for now in fantasy and communication, and maybe someday soon, in a more real way. 

My Big Cock

Hi steve! That's Me on the left, you on the right!

After diving into the waters of SPH (small penis humiliation) and SPT (small penis teasing - that one's more fun!), I've realized that my dick isn't really small, and that it's fun to have a big dick!

I guess this makes it seem like I have some kind of multiple personality thing, but it's more like Whitman's line about containing multitudes. I have a slightly-above-average dick. It can play the role of a little dick, or a big dick. Whatever my wife and I are in the mood for.

I think if I were single, I'd be into cuckolding and other MFm kink. It's strange, but I'm not turned on by the thought of being the submissive guy with a couple. That's strange because I'm more submissive than dominant with women, and I was almost completely submissive in my one sexual relationship with a guy.

With a couple, I'd want to be the Stud Bull, and have my way with the wife, and maybe with both of them if he was into it. I love the thought of having sex with a hot wife, either in front of her chastised cuckold husband, or out of his sight. I also love the thought of her watching him suck me off, of cumming in his mouth, him showing both of us the cum before swallowing it. And his wife and I sharing a laugh about it!

I'm very turned on by the idea of a "peckering" order among guys, with big-dicked Alphas at the top of the food chain, medium-dicked guys like me in the middle, and little dick guys at the bottom. That's why, I think, I'm turned on both by the thought of a well-endowed Alpha male having my wife and basically being their slave, as well as the thought of having a small dick guy's wife while he submits to both of us.

Yep, multitudes.

This started out being about my dick, so let's make the case for my dick being big. My dick is AT LEAST 6.25 inches long. That's conservative. It's "bone-pressed", but very lightly bone-pressed. If I press harder, It's easily 6.5 inches, and if I really push it, it's over 6.75 inches. There's no ambiguity about the girth; that's 5.1 inches, just under 5 and 1/8 inches around. The head is 1.75 from side to side.

My cock is one of the biggest in the comments on this thread: https://lovesmallpenis.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/what-is-your-penis-size/

Which would satisfy a Hot Wife?

That's a really awesome blog I just discovered, by the way, about the adventures of a guy with a little dick - 4 inches long, 4.5 inches around - and his "hotwife". And yes, I had an orgasm today imagining several scenarios involving the three of us!

From this site - http://bl.ocks.org/abovethemean/raw/9395398/ - using the most conservative measurement of my cock (6.25 X 5.1 inches), I got the following:

89.59%

In a room of 1000 guys, 104 should be both longer and girthier than you.

Your dick is at most 13.04 in³ (7.23 fl oz)

That's more voluminous than 80.94% of dudes!

Yeah - being a typical sph/spt oriented guy, I immediately try to imagine the 104 guys with dicks bigger than mine.

But - 89th percentile? Does that seem like a small dick in any way?

Just for kicks, I checked out the stats on the favorite dick size for my wife and me, 7 inches long and 6 inches around (very close to both the Dream Dick and Vixskin Johnny.

97.58% In that room with 1000 guys, only 24 would have bigger dicks. Again, I am far too curious about those 24 guys! And even more curious about Mr. 97%!

Anyway... so in a rational world, I have a good-sized cock. In Kama Sutra terms, I'm a Bull. I think the reasons I feel small these days are 1) I'm feeling more submissive generally lately, 2) Lately, I only like porn featuring big dicks ("Horse" sized, in KS terms, 95th percentile in Super Complicated Dick Size Percentile Calculator terms), and when we play with dildos, they are similarly big, so all my comparisons make me look and feel small, and 3) My wife was a KS "Mare" when we met, now she is more like "Elephant". I think the last one is the most important reason. 

The difference between stevie (left) and Me is night and day. By comparison, the difference between Me and the Dream Dick  is pretty minor. 

My wife and I talked about this in bed yesterday morning before we had sex. I asked her again if she thought I had a little dick. She said she always thought it was big, until I started talking about it being small. I asked her if she liked it better as a big dick, or as a small dick. She immediately said "Big". She said she wasn't sure why I wanted her to think of it as small lately, and that she was OK with it either way, but she gets more turned on when I believe I have a big dick. Around this time, she picked up Vixskin Bandit, which I had been keeping warm next to my body.

I told her I think a lot of guys think their dicks are small, even when they're not. She asked me if that included even guys with really big dicks, and I said I thought so. She seemed surprised by this. She now had my cock in one hand, and with her other hand was lazily teasing her nipples with Bandit. 

I felt like driving from the bottom, and I was feeling submissive. I asked her "May I please kiss your ass, Goddess?" She said OK, and rolled over with her ass stuck out towards me. I started by kissing her lower back and ass cheeks, then moved on to licking her crack thoroughly before putting my dick between her feet and sticking my tongue into her asshole. I licked, sucked, and tongue-fucked her ass while I fucked her feet. When I paused, she spread her legs and I saw her put Bandit up to her pussy lips and rub her pussy all over with it. Then she put the head to her opening and teased it. 

I got really horny watching this, and suddenly, I HAD to fuck my wife. I moved up, rubbed her ass with my cock and basically pushed Bandit out of the way. I put myself into her and started fucking. No, it wasn't very tight, and she wasn't screaming or anything. She did moan softly a couple of times when I started going faster. I wasn't getting in very deep, but I could feel the top of her vaginal entrance, and I hoped I was hitting the top wall. 

I thought of how it would be to watch a bigger guy fuck her. The thought that she'd never want my little dick inside her again if she ever got fucked by a Dream Dick or a Johnny-sized guy made me cum. I stayed inside her as long as I could. After about a minute or so, she was ready to disengage. I felt disappointed, but I was also turned on (mentally) by how easy it was for her to get my cock out of her: she just rotated her hips forward, and the two inches or so of my dick that was in her just popped out. And I was still hard! 

This morning, she surprised me with a blowjob. I asked just her if she loved my dick, She said she did. I asked if she still wanted to feel a bigger one inside her, and she said she did! I asked her to tell me she loved my little dick, but that she was more turned on by big dicks. She said it, and then she started kissing her way down to my dick. When she started sucking it, I asked her to look me in the eye. I love watching her suck my cock! As usual, it looked huge in her mouth. I asked her if she liked sucking my dick. She said "Mmm Hmm!" with her mouth still on it. I asked her to keep looking me in the eye, and tell me she liked sucking my little dick. She laughed and said "I LOVE sucking your little dick!" 

Then she turned into a 69 and sat on my face. Bandit was handy again, so while I licked her clit, I also rubbed Bandit on her ass crack, and then started rubbing it on her pussy lips, and pressing the head against the opening. She didn't press back, and got annoyed when I kept going. I put Bandit aside. She started fucking my face really hard and I came hard in her mouth in a few seconds. I never stopped licking her hard clit, and I thought maybe she was going to stay on long enough to swallow, but instead she went off to the bathroom. Still, it was awesome, and I felt great all day. 

In the afternoon, I saw that I had an email from the "lovesmallpenis" blog. They (Steve and his Hotwife 'Hottie') wanted to let me know my comment (about my penis) had been approved. That got me thinking about how much fun it would be to have a much bigger dick than another guy, and to dominate him. And, of course, to fuck his wife to a number of orgasms, and then to cum - hard - deep inside her! It's only a fantasy, but wow, it would feel so right!

If you read this, Steve and Hottie, please let me know your thoughts!