The Shortcummings of Porn

My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
~Erica Jong, Playboy Magazine, September 1975

Maybe I've watched too much porn lately, but I've really gotten kind of sick of it.

Don't get me wrong - I'm a HUGE fan of porn - but lately I've finally seen the truth of some arguments against it.

First, it separates sex from love. Not always, but mostly. I'm thinking mainly of stuff like double anal, gangbang - sex as spectacle, sex as sport. Again, don't get me wrong - I enjoy watching extremely attractive and sexually skilled performers have sex with each other. But after awhile, with most porn stars, you realize they're doing it for the money and they don't really enjoy it or feel any connection to the people they're doing it with. And that realization just makes me sad. Some porn stars do manage to make (almost) every scene passionate and memorable - Annette Schwarz, Rebeca Linares, Monica Mattos, Sandra Romain to name a few - but they manage to be sexy despite mainstream porn's efforts to reduce sex to a formula: attractive persons a + b (and maybe + c, d, e, etc) performing x+y+z (etc) sex acts = profit.

Second, it contributes to "Sex Attention Deficit Disorder" (SADD). This is when someone who is used to masturbating while watching porn finds it difficult to stay adequately focused when having sex with a real person. Either they cum too quick, or they can't stay hard, or maybe they just aren't "there". I haven't been too affected, but I have found that my mind wanders sometimes. Sometimes I think about stuff I've seen in porn while having sex with my wife. But I've heard this is a big problem for a lot of people today.

Third, it creates unrealistic expectations. Again, this is not a big deal for us. My wife and I are both pretty hot, if I may say so. We get off on looking at ourselves in the mirror when we fuck. She gives me deep throat head on a regular basis, she loves when I cum in her mouth and lets me fuck her ass almost as much as I want. I give her head for 45 minutes or more whenever I get the chance and I fuck her silly when she wants it. But if I was turned on by shaved pubes, bleach blonde hair or big fake boobs, she would not pass the test. I think a lot of guys today who've learned about sex and women mainly from porn, expect all women to be shaved, stacked and up for anything. And that creates a lot of disappointment. On the other hand, I've also read that women today are giving in to those expectations, that more women do anal, deep throat and swallow then ever before. So maybe it's not all bad!

Anyway - all of the above are NOT really arguments against porn. Instead, they suggest ways for porn to improve.

A handful of my specific wishes for porn:

• Women - lighten up on the potty mouth! I know it's borderline ridiculous to complain about language in porn films, but hearing someone go on and on in the foulest possible language - "oh yeah, that's it, fuck my tight little asshole...fuck yeah...fuck me...fuck me like the whore I am!" - especially when they obviously feel next to nothing - it's just a huge turn off.
• Guys - just STFU! Why do some male porn directors or actors feel the need to run their mouths during porn scenes? Usually they're saying creepy things, again without the slightest hint of affection or passion. Does ANYONE like this?
• Everyone - can you at least pretend that you feel some connection to the person you're sharing these intimate acts with? Maybe that would be easier without trying to make the Guinness book of sex records or whatever. If real sex is too boring for you, that's because YOU are boring, not because regular sex is boring. Done right, regular sex is probably the hottest thing in life.
  

Now I'm going to watch some porn and then go and join my wife in bed. Life is Good!