What I did with my dick

Not me.

I didn't fuck my wife and I didn't get a blowjob from a guy. I didn't even try. I just jerked off thinking about kissing female ass, fucking female ass, being farted on by a hot female ass, being cuckolded, being the bull fucking another guy's wife's ass, getting head from a hot female, and finally again, fucking a hot female ass..

This was the image I was looking at when I came:

I came into my hand and ate it. It tasted good. I hadn't cum in 2 days so I came a lot. I felt pretty good afterwards, I was relieved that I didn't get a blowjob from a guy. I was a little sad thinking about how much more awesome it would have been to cum inside my wife.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up in time to fuck my wife!